I don't wanna be that person but the only thing that twitter was half decent for was #nsfwtwt and now they're taking forever to check whether users are actually over 18; if that doesn't bankrupt the company idk what will lmaoo

Yeah yeah but are you really living if you don't mow your lawn EVERY MORNING AT 9 IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW? CUZ PORCO IL SIGNORE IDDIO APPARENTLY NOT

Pegging gets a lot scarier when you date a girl with a wooden leg

Men have it hard bro like, balls? I could never

So my friend was being visited by the gin the the gy the guy the gynico the gynoc by the pussy inspector and -

Women have it hard bro, like, boobs?? I could never

"are you a car person?" Do I look like optimus prime to you

I feel lucky to be italian tbh, this country works like shit so I default to always having a plan B, C, D,... so when I'm in a country that's less idiotic I end up effortlessly super-organized for everything

Imagine being an incredible mathematician. Not only that, also one of the most important people for the defeat of the Nazis. Yet you get chemically castrated by Winston Churchill, you kill yourself AND THEN 60 YEARS LATER YOU GET INTERPRETED BY FUCKING BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

#TURING#DESERVES#BETTER

I only need one word:
Urethra

Imagine how amazing it would have been if they stopped making superhero movies after infinity war, like just killing most of the characters and then leaving would have been rad

Δτᵢ=xᵢ-mᵢ/ϵφmᵢ+ AI

Oh yeah

They call me "old timey bike" the way I'm penny farting

This might be a bit too niche but there's this guy that is trying very hard to convince me that number theory doesn't suck, like brother you're choosing to spend your whole life studying one (1) set

Honestly I kinda expect super Mario's pubes to look exactly like his moustache

I decided that bsky is gonna be my repository of jokes probably only I find funny

(crying) I... I watch her do that... And.. and when I thought the worst was over she... she started to nay nay