Quinn Hawkins
@qhawkins95.bsky.social
Ordering at a restaurant with my husband and the kids
Me: “can we have some bread for the table please?”
15yo: “Tables don’t eat bread.”
Me: “can we have some bread for the table please?”
15yo: “Tables don’t eat bread.”
December 17, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Ordering at a restaurant with my husband and the kids
Me: “can we have some bread for the table please?”
15yo: “Tables don’t eat bread.”
Me: “can we have some bread for the table please?”
15yo: “Tables don’t eat bread.”
I showed my 15yo my outfit and makeup to get her opinion, she stares at my eyeshadow.
Me: “what do you think?”
15yo: “did you uh… win the fight?”
Me: “what do you mean fight?”
15yo: “you have two black eyes!”
Me: “what do you think?”
15yo: “did you uh… win the fight?”
Me: “what do you mean fight?”
15yo: “you have two black eyes!”
December 13, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I showed my 15yo my outfit and makeup to get her opinion, she stares at my eyeshadow.
Me: “what do you think?”
15yo: “did you uh… win the fight?”
Me: “what do you mean fight?”
15yo: “you have two black eyes!”
Me: “what do you think?”
15yo: “did you uh… win the fight?”
Me: “what do you mean fight?”
15yo: “you have two black eyes!”
I come into my 4yo sons room to say goodbye to him before I go out, dressed
"gothic" in a red and black costume.
4yo: “Dracula?”
Me: “I look like a vampire? I'm leaving now, Daddy is putting you to bed tonight.”
4yo: “ok. Happy Halloween.”
"gothic" in a red and black costume.
4yo: “Dracula?”
Me: “I look like a vampire? I'm leaving now, Daddy is putting you to bed tonight.”
4yo: “ok. Happy Halloween.”
November 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I come into my 4yo sons room to say goodbye to him before I go out, dressed
"gothic" in a red and black costume.
4yo: “Dracula?”
Me: “I look like a vampire? I'm leaving now, Daddy is putting you to bed tonight.”
4yo: “ok. Happy Halloween.”
"gothic" in a red and black costume.
4yo: “Dracula?”
Me: “I look like a vampire? I'm leaving now, Daddy is putting you to bed tonight.”
4yo: “ok. Happy Halloween.”
My 15yo is telling me about school
15yo: “And I got like 2 grade levels above the girl that was helping me revise in the first place”
Me: “That’s fucking class”
15yo: “you’re just putting together words and pretending they mean something”
15yo: “And I got like 2 grade levels above the girl that was helping me revise in the first place”
Me: “That’s fucking class”
15yo: “you’re just putting together words and pretending they mean something”
November 14, 2025 at 3:42 PM
My 15yo is telling me about school
15yo: “And I got like 2 grade levels above the girl that was helping me revise in the first place”
Me: “That’s fucking class”
15yo: “you’re just putting together words and pretending they mean something”
15yo: “And I got like 2 grade levels above the girl that was helping me revise in the first place”
Me: “That’s fucking class”
15yo: “you’re just putting together words and pretending they mean something”
Husband: “behave for mummy, ok?”
3yo: “I already got dessert.”
3yo: “I already got dessert.”
October 29, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Husband: “behave for mummy, ok?”
3yo: “I already got dessert.”
3yo: “I already got dessert.”
My 15yo looks at the ground in a pumpkin patch, pointing out a white jelly-like substance.
15yo: “what’s that?”
Me: “pumpkin sperm. How else do you think they procreate?”
15yo: “… wtf”
15yo: “what’s that?”
Me: “pumpkin sperm. How else do you think they procreate?”
15yo: “… wtf”
October 28, 2025 at 11:21 PM
My 15yo looks at the ground in a pumpkin patch, pointing out a white jelly-like substance.
15yo: “what’s that?”
Me: “pumpkin sperm. How else do you think they procreate?”
15yo: “… wtf”
15yo: “what’s that?”
Me: “pumpkin sperm. How else do you think they procreate?”
15yo: “… wtf”
My 3-year-old spots a tuxedo cat curled up at a roundabout, turns to my husband and I and proudly tells us “she’s calfing”
Me: Calfing? Like having babies?
3yo: No, Mummy. Like a calf of bread.
Me: Calfing? Like having babies?
3yo: No, Mummy. Like a calf of bread.
October 12, 2025 at 11:17 AM
My 3-year-old spots a tuxedo cat curled up at a roundabout, turns to my husband and I and proudly tells us “she’s calfing”
Me: Calfing? Like having babies?
3yo: No, Mummy. Like a calf of bread.
Me: Calfing? Like having babies?
3yo: No, Mummy. Like a calf of bread.