The dog I bicycle kicked yesterday morning decided to be the most dramatic he could be and tumble out the bed to an ottoman and ultimately the floor because he wouldn’t move so I lifted the sheets last night. Someone please get this man an oscar

I’m sleepy and I’m about to make it everyone else’s problem.

Paying for a train ticket

🧐to start work an hour and a half later than if I’d stayed at home,

🤨to sit in an office which is empty because it’s Friday,

😟for virtual meetings,

😖doing work I can do at home,

…all because “nothing beats those water cooler moments!” 🤪

Accidentally bicycle kicked my dog off the bed like I was Liu Kang. To be fair I thought he was a demon in my half-sleep state.

Ok last random thought before I go be productive… when is the apocalypse I need to use all my renewed PTO for the year before then. I ain’t trying to miss ascending to heaven (probably descending actually) because I’m at work.

Yall let me fall into ruin 🤣

That was short lived but I ain’t going back. Y’all go back to abusive exes? That’s what that app is.

Yall lied and said it was supposed to be an alien battle in the sky today! Where the battle at huh?

Y’all ate all that food now you gotta shit huh… running around trying to find deals clenching that bootyhole lol

I’m listening and I’m judging because why would you do that?

What I didn’t need was another vocal stim…. MUUSSSTAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRD has been coming out my mouth all day long #blacksky

I need an accountability buddy.. not just for the gym but for life in general cuz i be fuckin up lol

Before I take a truce, I’ll take ’em to Hell with me