idk where i’m going with this, just. i’m so fucking tired, i just wanna hug her again and feel safe, i wish there wasn’t this gigantic hurdle that moves week to week at the whims of dying empire because i chose to be who i am and they’re not a fans of that fact of reality.

all for what? so they can live in their regressive fantasy? so they never have to experience the friction of learning their child is trans or being corrected when they misgender someone? so they can use us as a pawn to distract their goldfish brained base from realizing they’re getting fucked too?

it feels so tainted, like i’m leaving a sinking ship and this thing i’ve dreamt of for so long is now just a life raft to keep me from sinking, and it pains me so much to acknowledge that. and then they decide to kick the raft away putting more uncertain waters between me and relative stability

like this should be a positive experience, going to live with the woman i’ve loved for so long and finally building our life together after 7 years of an ocean and half a continent between us. instead i’m constantly in fear that people who view me and so many others as disposable will fuck me over

honestly the pvp isn’t the horrifying part, it’s how much game knowledge got lodged in my brain and won’t go away despite not playing in like a year and a half lol

and he was the kinda guy that takes the correct read of nietzsche where “nothing fucking matters so you make the meaning yourself” instead of the default shitty “nothing matters so why fucking bother” read a lot of people do so that was a huge plus

it’s gonna be so fucking sick watching him snap and then stroke out on live television during a press conference or some shit

like. i’m not surprised? they literally did the same with my pinnacle of gaming art hoe depressed cop video game so it’s sorta expected of a larger company with a much more marketable title but also fuck off