I don't think I gaf anymore, maybe this will be my private-ish blog for updates on that journey and the reasons why this failed earth is fucking inhabitable and inherently torturous, it was MADE to be a substitute hell, no one is allowed to keep me from going home anymore.

-as hard as possible. And I'm bringing blades aswell so I can make myself bleed out with the mix of meds that fuck with your blood pressure and hopefully more careless mutilation, I'm going to bring weed with me so I'm probably gonna be high as shit, will make it easier to not freak out.

I'm working on a plan until I am confident it is foolproof, my entire life I've genuinely believed I was not meant to be here, I was cursed to be here and I had to find a way back home. I'm going to hoard my pills (while not going cold turkey on them like an idiot) so that I can make sure I overdose

Id not wish that feeling or anything like it upon anyone else, I would not attempt to perpetuate it.

I have to check locked doors countless times to assure they're locked, I have to make sure there's absolutely 0% of any window visible when I change, even if there's nothing but forested area outside with no way for a person to be out there.

And god , I know what it's like to feel like you have a creep following you around, I've been groomed before and I've had stalkers and due to this I have Severely debilitating paranoia issues that lead to me feeling im being watched 24/7,

yes I want to be heard, yes I need to be heard, but I don't want people to be scared or think that having me as a follower meant they had someone creeping on them, just because I have thoughts in my head most people make vast assumptions about doesn't mean I am anything like those assumptions.

Besides, I'm aro, I can assure you I am not and was never here with a "looking" mindset. I hope that is all believable, this part less so for my sake and moreso because like ,

I do not interact for the purpose of showing affection, I don't interact for clout or for fame, I existed here to vent, and I interact with others to give support or simply acknowledgement when it seems they have none.

I interact with others to show support, especially knowing that sh spaces are usually meant for extreme venting;

Majority of the people on shsky are minors, I deeply apologize if finding allthis out discomforts you, but I promise I'd never look at someone else that way knowing they'd most likely find it uncomfortable at the least,

because ???? Paraphilia isn't magically the outlier in "thought crimes don't exist", just because you hate us doesn't mean you get to negate fact, your nazi is showing.

I hope you all have a great day, and I hope you all learn to actually try to educate yourselves before having a stance, and I hope you learn to maybe stop being gullible pieces of shit.

I have thoughts in my head, what? Are you suddenly going to tell someone that thoughts in their head means they're evil? You sound like the kind of person who tries to purposely trigger others OCD, you sound like the kind of person to go "you're just delusional" when they try to express an identity.

just because my mind has been affected by my childhood abuse in ways you personally would lable as "tainted forever and irredeemable" doesn't mean you are correct, it doesn't mean anyone who taught you that was ever correct. Me having feelings doesn't mean I suddenly forget what causes harm.

I am, I am all of me (here we go here we go) (I am)
I am, I am all of me (here we go)
I am, I am all of me