Punter Poet
@punterpoet.bsky.social
Scottish Football Haikus - in formations we use: 4-4-2, 5-3-2, 4-3-3, 4-5-1, 4-6-0
Ian McCall
A memory
At eight years old
Of you
Curling a beauty
In the top
Corner
Hibs at Ibrox
What a goal!
Then I found
You’re from Dumfries
And followed all your
Clubs
You’re decent on
The radio too mate
A memory
At eight years old
Of you
Curling a beauty
In the top
Corner
Hibs at Ibrox
What a goal!
Then I found
You’re from Dumfries
And followed all your
Clubs
You’re decent on
The radio too mate
December 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Ian McCall
A memory
At eight years old
Of you
Curling a beauty
In the top
Corner
Hibs at Ibrox
What a goal!
Then I found
You’re from Dumfries
And followed all your
Clubs
You’re decent on
The radio too mate
A memory
At eight years old
Of you
Curling a beauty
In the top
Corner
Hibs at Ibrox
What a goal!
Then I found
You’re from Dumfries
And followed all your
Clubs
You’re decent on
The radio too mate
Alex Gogic
Shaun Maloney
Didn’t think you
Could play
For Hibs, but I’ve seen
So many
Matches -
Whether playing
For Accies,
St Mirren,
Cyprus - where you
Have won the game for
Teams
You can battle
And play a bit n aw
Shaun Maloney
Didn’t think you
Could play
For Hibs, but I’ve seen
So many
Matches -
Whether playing
For Accies,
St Mirren,
Cyprus - where you
Have won the game for
Teams
You can battle
And play a bit n aw
December 8, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Alex Gogic
Shaun Maloney
Didn’t think you
Could play
For Hibs, but I’ve seen
So many
Matches -
Whether playing
For Accies,
St Mirren,
Cyprus - where you
Have won the game for
Teams
You can battle
And play a bit n aw
Shaun Maloney
Didn’t think you
Could play
For Hibs, but I’ve seen
So many
Matches -
Whether playing
For Accies,
St Mirren,
Cyprus - where you
Have won the game for
Teams
You can battle
And play a bit n aw
VAR III
I love him, but
If VAR can’t tell
Martin
Boyle is diving
For a pen,
Pray tell
Why we’re spending
The money
Teams don’t have
For computers
Which aren’t working,
Still
Getting the most
Important calls all wrong?
I love him, but
If VAR can’t tell
Martin
Boyle is diving
For a pen,
Pray tell
Why we’re spending
The money
Teams don’t have
For computers
Which aren’t working,
Still
Getting the most
Important calls all wrong?
December 7, 2025 at 12:36 PM
VAR III
I love him, but
If VAR can’t tell
Martin
Boyle is diving
For a pen,
Pray tell
Why we’re spending
The money
Teams don’t have
For computers
Which aren’t working,
Still
Getting the most
Important calls all wrong?
I love him, but
If VAR can’t tell
Martin
Boyle is diving
For a pen,
Pray tell
Why we’re spending
The money
Teams don’t have
For computers
Which aren’t working,
Still
Getting the most
Important calls all wrong?
Joe Jordan
All that footage
Of you scoring
Those goals
In world cups, then
Smiling that
Wide grin
Nae teeth, buzzing
To score for
The country;
Confirmed legend
You then went on and
Square
Go’ed Rino
Gattusso; total class.
All that footage
Of you scoring
Those goals
In world cups, then
Smiling that
Wide grin
Nae teeth, buzzing
To score for
The country;
Confirmed legend
You then went on and
Square
Go’ed Rino
Gattusso; total class.
December 2, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Joe Jordan
All that footage
Of you scoring
Those goals
In world cups, then
Smiling that
Wide grin
Nae teeth, buzzing
To score for
The country;
Confirmed legend
You then went on and
Square
Go’ed Rino
Gattusso; total class.
All that footage
Of you scoring
Those goals
In world cups, then
Smiling that
Wide grin
Nae teeth, buzzing
To score for
The country;
Confirmed legend
You then went on and
Square
Go’ed Rino
Gattusso; total class.
Cammy Devlin
I honestly
Thought you were pish
At first,
But watching you play
Hibs, Rangers,
Celtic,
Battling to win
The game from
Midfield, it’s
Clear you are such
A good player mate -
Like
Gattuso at
Rangers - pish but so good
I honestly
Thought you were pish
At first,
But watching you play
Hibs, Rangers,
Celtic,
Battling to win
The game from
Midfield, it’s
Clear you are such
A good player mate -
Like
Gattuso at
Rangers - pish but so good
December 2, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Cammy Devlin
I honestly
Thought you were pish
At first,
But watching you play
Hibs, Rangers,
Celtic,
Battling to win
The game from
Midfield, it’s
Clear you are such
A good player mate -
Like
Gattuso at
Rangers - pish but so good
I honestly
Thought you were pish
At first,
But watching you play
Hibs, Rangers,
Celtic,
Battling to win
The game from
Midfield, it’s
Clear you are such
A good player mate -
Like
Gattuso at
Rangers - pish but so good
Franck Sauzee
I had seen you
Play for Marseille,
Midfield,
Absolutely class
At Ibrox,
2-2 -
And before that
Too, in a
Pre-season
Friendly draw. I
Cannot believe I
Watched
You play for Hibs
You were captain of France!
I had seen you
Play for Marseille,
Midfield,
Absolutely class
At Ibrox,
2-2 -
And before that
Too, in a
Pre-season
Friendly draw. I
Cannot believe I
Watched
You play for Hibs
You were captain of France!
December 2, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Franck Sauzee
I had seen you
Play for Marseille,
Midfield,
Absolutely class
At Ibrox,
2-2 -
And before that
Too, in a
Pre-season
Friendly draw. I
Cannot believe I
Watched
You play for Hibs
You were captain of France!
I had seen you
Play for Marseille,
Midfield,
Absolutely class
At Ibrox,
2-2 -
And before that
Too, in a
Pre-season
Friendly draw. I
Cannot believe I
Watched
You play for Hibs
You were captain of France!
Big Yogi
You were the boss
As a player,
I loved
You in the team; you’re
Too quickly
Dismissed
As a coach - your
Inverness
Players won
The Scottish cup
Playing like barca -
You
Should be involved
In helping our game now
You were the boss
As a player,
I loved
You in the team; you’re
Too quickly
Dismissed
As a coach - your
Inverness
Players won
The Scottish cup
Playing like barca -
You
Should be involved
In helping our game now
December 2, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Big Yogi
You were the boss
As a player,
I loved
You in the team; you’re
Too quickly
Dismissed
As a coach - your
Inverness
Players won
The Scottish cup
Playing like barca -
You
Should be involved
In helping our game now
You were the boss
As a player,
I loved
You in the team; you’re
Too quickly
Dismissed
As a coach - your
Inverness
Players won
The Scottish cup
Playing like barca -
You
Should be involved
In helping our game now
Mixu Paatelainen
I first saw you
At Tannidice
Playing
Against rangers in
A brilliant
2-2.
You were great for
Hibs, big goals
In derbies -
The six-two game
Was beyond all my
Dreams -
You could tell you
Just loved to play fitba
I first saw you
At Tannidice
Playing
Against rangers in
A brilliant
2-2.
You were great for
Hibs, big goals
In derbies -
The six-two game
Was beyond all my
Dreams -
You could tell you
Just loved to play fitba
December 2, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Mixu Paatelainen
I first saw you
At Tannidice
Playing
Against rangers in
A brilliant
2-2.
You were great for
Hibs, big goals
In derbies -
The six-two game
Was beyond all my
Dreams -
You could tell you
Just loved to play fitba
I first saw you
At Tannidice
Playing
Against rangers in
A brilliant
2-2.
You were great for
Hibs, big goals
In derbies -
The six-two game
Was beyond all my
Dreams -
You could tell you
Just loved to play fitba
Title Race
Martin O’Neill
Is a genius
Who knows
How the next guy will
Deal with this
Pressure?
Hearts can win this
Motherwell
Will take points
Off everyone
Hibs and Aberdeen
Can
Beat anyone
It’s up for grabs this year
Martin O’Neill
Is a genius
Who knows
How the next guy will
Deal with this
Pressure?
Hearts can win this
Motherwell
Will take points
Off everyone
Hibs and Aberdeen
Can
Beat anyone
It’s up for grabs this year
December 1, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Title Race
Martin O’Neill
Is a genius
Who knows
How the next guy will
Deal with this
Pressure?
Hearts can win this
Motherwell
Will take points
Off everyone
Hibs and Aberdeen
Can
Beat anyone
It’s up for grabs this year
Martin O’Neill
Is a genius
Who knows
How the next guy will
Deal with this
Pressure?
Hearts can win this
Motherwell
Will take points
Off everyone
Hibs and Aberdeen
Can
Beat anyone
It’s up for grabs this year
Rangers 0-0 Falkirk
Had Rangers said
‘Let’s try Lowry,
Finley
Curtis and wee Ross
McCausland
Behind
Cyril Dessers’
Could it be
Much worse than
Watching this live?
They’ve spent millions on
Bang
Average guys
Who do not know the league
Had Rangers said
‘Let’s try Lowry,
Finley
Curtis and wee Ross
McCausland
Behind
Cyril Dessers’
Could it be
Much worse than
Watching this live?
They’ve spent millions on
Bang
Average guys
Who do not know the league
December 1, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Rangers 0-0 Falkirk
Had Rangers said
‘Let’s try Lowry,
Finley
Curtis and wee Ross
McCausland
Behind
Cyril Dessers’
Could it be
Much worse than
Watching this live?
They’ve spent millions on
Bang
Average guys
Who do not know the league
Had Rangers said
‘Let’s try Lowry,
Finley
Curtis and wee Ross
McCausland
Behind
Cyril Dessers’
Could it be
Much worse than
Watching this live?
They’ve spent millions on
Bang
Average guys
Who do not know the league
Kenny Macintyre
You’d cause a row
In an empty
Room but
You’re passionate and
Do love the
Drama
And the madness -
From derek
Adams to
Micheal stewart
Banging on about
Var -
Good luck to ye
You do the game proud mate
You’d cause a row
In an empty
Room but
You’re passionate and
Do love the
Drama
And the madness -
From derek
Adams to
Micheal stewart
Banging on about
Var -
Good luck to ye
You do the game proud mate
November 30, 2025 at 11:57 AM
Kenny Macintyre
You’d cause a row
In an empty
Room but
You’re passionate and
Do love the
Drama
And the madness -
From derek
Adams to
Micheal stewart
Banging on about
Var -
Good luck to ye
You do the game proud mate
You’d cause a row
In an empty
Room but
You’re passionate and
Do love the
Drama
And the madness -
From derek
Adams to
Micheal stewart
Banging on about
Var -
Good luck to ye
You do the game proud mate
Martin Boyle
You’ve been at Hibs
Forever, it’s
So good
To have seen you play
For so long;
It’s weird
That you only
Transferred once
To Saudi
When so many
Average players
Go
For fortunes. I
Love watching you play mate!
You’ve been at Hibs
Forever, it’s
So good
To have seen you play
For so long;
It’s weird
That you only
Transferred once
To Saudi
When so many
Average players
Go
For fortunes. I
Love watching you play mate!
November 25, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Martin Boyle
You’ve been at Hibs
Forever, it’s
So good
To have seen you play
For so long;
It’s weird
That you only
Transferred once
To Saudi
When so many
Average players
Go
For fortunes. I
Love watching you play mate!
You’ve been at Hibs
Forever, it’s
So good
To have seen you play
For so long;
It’s weird
That you only
Transferred once
To Saudi
When so many
Average players
Go
For fortunes. I
Love watching you play mate!
Lyndon Dykes
Another lad
In the squad from
Dumfries -
Kind of anyway -
I saw you
At Queens
Beside Dobbie
And didn’t
Think much of
Your game, but you
Are fantastic for
Us -
I love your game! -
Get fucking tore in pal!
Another lad
In the squad from
Dumfries -
Kind of anyway -
I saw you
At Queens
Beside Dobbie
And didn’t
Think much of
Your game, but you
Are fantastic for
Us -
I love your game! -
Get fucking tore in pal!
November 25, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Lyndon Dykes
Another lad
In the squad from
Dumfries -
Kind of anyway -
I saw you
At Queens
Beside Dobbie
And didn’t
Think much of
Your game, but you
Are fantastic for
Us -
I love your game! -
Get fucking tore in pal!
Another lad
In the squad from
Dumfries -
Kind of anyway -
I saw you
At Queens
Beside Dobbie
And didn’t
Think much of
Your game, but you
Are fantastic for
Us -
I love your game! -
Get fucking tore in pal!
We’ve got McGinn
Watching you play
For Scotland at
Hampden
Is like seeing how
We would feel
If dreams
Really came true -
You can tell
You’re a fan
And it really
Means everything to
You
It does mean more
When the fans see fans score
Watching you play
For Scotland at
Hampden
Is like seeing how
We would feel
If dreams
Really came true -
You can tell
You’re a fan
And it really
Means everything to
You
It does mean more
When the fans see fans score
November 25, 2025 at 10:28 AM
We’ve got McGinn
Watching you play
For Scotland at
Hampden
Is like seeing how
We would feel
If dreams
Really came true -
You can tell
You’re a fan
And it really
Means everything to
You
It does mean more
When the fans see fans score
Watching you play
For Scotland at
Hampden
Is like seeing how
We would feel
If dreams
Really came true -
You can tell
You’re a fan
And it really
Means everything to
You
It does mean more
When the fans see fans score
Jamie O’Hara
I get it mate
And fair enough,
Really
You’re trying to carve
Out a gig
Down there.
You never played
In Scotland -
You just don’t
Get it, like most
Folk who haven’t been
Here
So talk away;
You’re no Michael Stewart pal
I get it mate
And fair enough,
Really
You’re trying to carve
Out a gig
Down there.
You never played
In Scotland -
You just don’t
Get it, like most
Folk who haven’t been
Here
So talk away;
You’re no Michael Stewart pal
November 25, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Jamie O’Hara
I get it mate
And fair enough,
Really
You’re trying to carve
Out a gig
Down there.
You never played
In Scotland -
You just don’t
Get it, like most
Folk who haven’t been
Here
So talk away;
You’re no Michael Stewart pal
I get it mate
And fair enough,
Really
You’re trying to carve
Out a gig
Down there.
You never played
In Scotland -
You just don’t
Get it, like most
Folk who haven’t been
Here
So talk away;
You’re no Michael Stewart pal
Grant Hanley
Born in Dumfries
Just like I was
And now
Playing for Hibs and
Scotland, you’re
Living
Out all my dreams.
I’ll admit
I used to
Think you were not
International
Class -
What did I know? -
You’re a proper player mate
Born in Dumfries
Just like I was
And now
Playing for Hibs and
Scotland, you’re
Living
Out all my dreams.
I’ll admit
I used to
Think you were not
International
Class -
What did I know? -
You’re a proper player mate
November 22, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Grant Hanley
Born in Dumfries
Just like I was
And now
Playing for Hibs and
Scotland, you’re
Living
Out all my dreams.
I’ll admit
I used to
Think you were not
International
Class -
What did I know? -
You’re a proper player mate
Born in Dumfries
Just like I was
And now
Playing for Hibs and
Scotland, you’re
Living
Out all my dreams.
I’ll admit
I used to
Think you were not
International
Class -
What did I know? -
You’re a proper player mate
McFratm
I already
Rated you in
Peru
And at centre back
At Wembley
It was
No problem at
All for you.
But never
Did I dream you
Would start to score huge
Goals -
Outrageous goals -
When we need them the most
I already
Rated you in
Peru
And at centre back
At Wembley
It was
No problem at
All for you.
But never
Did I dream you
Would start to score huge
Goals -
Outrageous goals -
When we need them the most
November 22, 2025 at 1:31 PM
McFratm
I already
Rated you in
Peru
And at centre back
At Wembley
It was
No problem at
All for you.
But never
Did I dream you
Would start to score huge
Goals -
Outrageous goals -
When we need them the most
I already
Rated you in
Peru
And at centre back
At Wembley
It was
No problem at
All for you.
But never
Did I dream you
Would start to score huge
Goals -
Outrageous goals -
When we need them the most
Ryan Christie
You are so good
For us you can
Even
Shout ‘Miserable
Wanks!’ at the
Tartan
Army and get
Away with
It, since it
Got us back in
The game and since you
Scored
In Serbia
And made everyone cry
You are so good
For us you can
Even
Shout ‘Miserable
Wanks!’ at the
Tartan
Army and get
Away with
It, since it
Got us back in
The game and since you
Scored
In Serbia
And made everyone cry
November 22, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Ryan Christie
You are so good
For us you can
Even
Shout ‘Miserable
Wanks!’ at the
Tartan
Army and get
Away with
It, since it
Got us back in
The game and since you
Scored
In Serbia
And made everyone cry
You are so good
For us you can
Even
Shout ‘Miserable
Wanks!’ at the
Tartan
Army and get
Away with
It, since it
Got us back in
The game and since you
Scored
In Serbia
And made everyone cry
Craig Gordon
I spotted you
In Tesco - I’d
Say now
Twenty years ago -
Little kids
Laughing
Sniggering ‘Hearts
Are pish’ then
Scarpering -
You are the best
Goalkeeper we have
Had
I’d still play you
When you’re fifty three mate
I spotted you
In Tesco - I’d
Say now
Twenty years ago -
Little kids
Laughing
Sniggering ‘Hearts
Are pish’ then
Scarpering -
You are the best
Goalkeeper we have
Had
I’d still play you
When you’re fifty three mate
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Craig Gordon
I spotted you
In Tesco - I’d
Say now
Twenty years ago -
Little kids
Laughing
Sniggering ‘Hearts
Are pish’ then
Scarpering -
You are the best
Goalkeeper we have
Had
I’d still play you
When you’re fifty three mate
I spotted you
In Tesco - I’d
Say now
Twenty years ago -
Little kids
Laughing
Sniggering ‘Hearts
Are pish’ then
Scarpering -
You are the best
Goalkeeper we have
Had
I’d still play you
When you’re fifty three mate
Chris Woods
When I first watched
Football you were
Rangers’
Number one. Since my
Dad followed
Rangers
I did too. Now
You’re helping
Steve Clarke take
Us to the world
Cup, coaching the goalies
It’s
Funny how life works
You are one of us now
When I first watched
Football you were
Rangers’
Number one. Since my
Dad followed
Rangers
I did too. Now
You’re helping
Steve Clarke take
Us to the world
Cup, coaching the goalies
It’s
Funny how life works
You are one of us now
November 22, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Chris Woods
When I first watched
Football you were
Rangers’
Number one. Since my
Dad followed
Rangers
I did too. Now
You’re helping
Steve Clarke take
Us to the world
Cup, coaching the goalies
It’s
Funny how life works
You are one of us now
When I first watched
Football you were
Rangers’
Number one. Since my
Dad followed
Rangers
I did too. Now
You’re helping
Steve Clarke take
Us to the world
Cup, coaching the goalies
It’s
Funny how life works
You are one of us now
We Have a Dream
I’m still checking
Each morning, just
In case
It was a dream: we
Didn’t beat
Denmark
Kenny McLean
Didn’t score
From halfway
Tierney didn’t
Win us the game like
That
McTominey
Wasn’t like Van Basten
I’m still checking
Each morning, just
In case
It was a dream: we
Didn’t beat
Denmark
Kenny McLean
Didn’t score
From halfway
Tierney didn’t
Win us the game like
That
McTominey
Wasn’t like Van Basten
November 22, 2025 at 9:51 AM
We Have a Dream
I’m still checking
Each morning, just
In case
It was a dream: we
Didn’t beat
Denmark
Kenny McLean
Didn’t score
From halfway
Tierney didn’t
Win us the game like
That
McTominey
Wasn’t like Van Basten
I’m still checking
Each morning, just
In case
It was a dream: we
Didn’t beat
Denmark
Kenny McLean
Didn’t score
From halfway
Tierney didn’t
Win us the game like
That
McTominey
Wasn’t like Van Basten
Kenny McLean
I was there in
Oslo, which was
Special
But nothing compares
To this one
Moment
Frozen in time:
You looking
Up, the strike
The ball bouncing
Into the net - the
Pause,
The disbelief -
Total Euphoria!
I was there in
Oslo, which was
Special
But nothing compares
To this one
Moment
Frozen in time:
You looking
Up, the strike
The ball bouncing
Into the net - the
Pause,
The disbelief -
Total Euphoria!
November 19, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Kenny McLean
I was there in
Oslo, which was
Special
But nothing compares
To this one
Moment
Frozen in time:
You looking
Up, the strike
The ball bouncing
Into the net - the
Pause,
The disbelief -
Total Euphoria!
I was there in
Oslo, which was
Special
But nothing compares
To this one
Moment
Frozen in time:
You looking
Up, the strike
The ball bouncing
Into the net - the
Pause,
The disbelief -
Total Euphoria!
Kieran Tierney’s Strike
Nobody will
Ever forget
This goal
From right back, Roy of
The Rovers
Stuff, you
Swept it into
The net and
Released all
That joy; twenty
Eight years of losing
These
Games. Thank you man!
All our dreams have come true
Nobody will
Ever forget
This goal
From right back, Roy of
The Rovers
Stuff, you
Swept it into
The net and
Released all
That joy; twenty
Eight years of losing
These
Games. Thank you man!
All our dreams have come true
November 19, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Kieran Tierney’s Strike
Nobody will
Ever forget
This goal
From right back, Roy of
The Rovers
Stuff, you
Swept it into
The net and
Released all
That joy; twenty
Eight years of losing
These
Games. Thank you man!
All our dreams have come true
Nobody will
Ever forget
This goal
From right back, Roy of
The Rovers
Stuff, you
Swept it into
The net and
Released all
That joy; twenty
Eight years of losing
These
Games. Thank you man!
All our dreams have come true
4-2
My dad is in
Hospital in
Dumfries.
He doesn’t know we’ve
Qualified
4-2
An overhead
Kick, Tierney
Curling in
Like that guy from
Italy. We won
Dad!
We have made it
After twenty eight years
My dad is in
Hospital in
Dumfries.
He doesn’t know we’ve
Qualified
4-2
An overhead
Kick, Tierney
Curling in
Like that guy from
Italy. We won
Dad!
We have made it
After twenty eight years
November 18, 2025 at 11:39 PM
4-2
My dad is in
Hospital in
Dumfries.
He doesn’t know we’ve
Qualified
4-2
An overhead
Kick, Tierney
Curling in
Like that guy from
Italy. We won
Dad!
We have made it
After twenty eight years
My dad is in
Hospital in
Dumfries.
He doesn’t know we’ve
Qualified
4-2
An overhead
Kick, Tierney
Curling in
Like that guy from
Italy. We won
Dad!
We have made it
After twenty eight years
Denmark nerves
In twelve hours we
Will be going
Or not
To the world cup
Having won
Or lost
Against Denmark.
I believe
We will win
But we have not
Won these games in my
Life.
They can do it -
I really hope they do
In twelve hours we
Will be going
Or not
To the world cup
Having won
Or lost
Against Denmark.
I believe
We will win
But we have not
Won these games in my
Life.
They can do it -
I really hope they do
November 18, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Denmark nerves
In twelve hours we
Will be going
Or not
To the world cup
Having won
Or lost
Against Denmark.
I believe
We will win
But we have not
Won these games in my
Life.
They can do it -
I really hope they do
In twelve hours we
Will be going
Or not
To the world cup
Having won
Or lost
Against Denmark.
I believe
We will win
But we have not
Won these games in my
Life.
They can do it -
I really hope they do