this list is two people long

i was gonna write more but i don't need to overshare on here so

tldr i used to be cool and shamelessly kinky but now if someone reaches down my pants i'll cry. how do i go back

i also think i kinda ruined my brain with my old girlfriend. i got super used to a Very Unhealthy Dynamic and now that i've realized how awful it was i can't make myself comfortable again. i was really stupid and now my brain associates sex with pain and boundary breaking and negligence

some of it is definitely bottom dysphoria, like when i'm horny all of my senses are screaming "FILL YOUR PUSSY FILL YOUR PUSSY" and then i just don't have one.

and lately every time i try anal with toys it's just,, painful and underwhelming. and gross.

like i wanna fucking die dude

this past year it's been awful, i still get very (very) horny and try doing stuff with friends, and then as soon as we start moving past foreplay i just seize up and dissociate and my libido vanishes.

i don't know if it's a trauma response or a hormone issue or what but i'm beyond over it

oldhead 👴

my inverted cage works fine for the most part,, but honestly after nearly 6 years of hrt my balls are so small they slip out super easy unless i wear my makeshift belt uncomfortably tight

this makes me want to cry a little bit

there are a few different routes you can go through, if you have insurance i can probably walk you through how it went for me