Possible alternatives:
-IDIC-ya!
-Don’t Stonn So Close To Me
-Last Contact
-Katra-us Decoupling

When we discuss “norms” in my 12th grade government class, they’re always surprised to learn how many things aren’t written in stone, but rely on people’s good-faith efforts.

(BTW, “Constitution USA” has been a much-used teaching tool, so thanks!)

Here in Mississippi, there are so many people of a certain age who it turns out never supported segregation, no, never! Apparently all the supporters just up and vanished. So odd.

Getting my hopes up that he’s announcing Trump Steaks are back!

Been teaching for 30 years and have both the I’m-taking-the-test and I’m-giving-the-test stress dreams. The worst are when they combine and somehow I’m in a class with the students I teach. Usually a higher math and now I’m the clueless one. Brutal.

Ready for “Stop the Storm” hurricane denial parties.

Didn’t have a period costume, but otherwise was bicentennial-ready.

Would have been more sinister if it had blamed a “foreseen incident.”

Nip it.
Nip it in the bud.

Yep, that’s the joke.

Just the little death.

There’s always monkey in the banana stand.

“Yeah, boss, it’s another monkey manhunt. Should I give it to Mitch or Angie?”

I’m totally stealing that. Good way to phrase it.