Patrick Storck
@pstorck.bsky.social
Writer and other fun stuff. Baltimore based. Currently working on horror shorts in prose and comics on substack. Previously I’ve worked on all ages books (Muppets, Disney Princesses, Shrek, Madagascar, etc). Sci Fi is probably next.
Thing is, ya see, the left doesn’t care for the most part that the president sucked a dick. Buchanon, right? But that one? It’s just proof the man who eats McDonalds while on a first class flight has no taste.
November 16, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Thing is, ya see, the left doesn’t care for the most part that the president sucked a dick. Buchanon, right? But that one? It’s just proof the man who eats McDonalds while on a first class flight has no taste.
Republicans don’t have enough gas money to drive off a cliff, and are blaming the democrats for not getting in the car and kicking in.
October 2, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Republicans don’t have enough gas money to drive off a cliff, and are blaming the democrats for not getting in the car and kicking in.
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until St Peter finishes reading off his list of sins
August 30, 2025 at 2:10 PM
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until St Peter finishes reading off his list of sins
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until Stephen Miller stops having a Jeremy Piven style meltdown
August 30, 2025 at 2:02 PM
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until Stephen Miller stops having a Jeremy Piven style meltdown
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until they notify the family, and nobody can find Eric’s number
August 30, 2025 at 1:50 PM
They’re waiting to announce his death officially until they notify the family, and nobody can find Eric’s number
Trump suggests renaming the Kennedy Center the Trump Center. If this happens, it would be the performance space most frequently named in the Epstein report
August 21, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Trump suggests renaming the Kennedy Center the Trump Center. If this happens, it would be the performance space most frequently named in the Epstein report
If your 2025 bingo card had Pamela Anderson hooking up with Darkman, and preaching David Lynch from the Criterion closet, the font in that square must’ve been tiny.
July 31, 2025 at 8:52 PM
If your 2025 bingo card had Pamela Anderson hooking up with Darkman, and preaching David Lynch from the Criterion closet, the font in that square must’ve been tiny.
My house is haunted by James Randi, but every time I get my camera out he hides. Cheap bastard!
July 10, 2025 at 11:29 PM
My house is haunted by James Randi, but every time I get my camera out he hides. Cheap bastard!
I made the mistake of telling my fitness tracker my goals and now it keeps thinking I’m going to try
June 29, 2025 at 8:40 AM
I made the mistake of telling my fitness tracker my goals and now it keeps thinking I’m going to try
Media shocked that public didn’t overwhelmingly support media backed ladder grabbing centrist. Film at eleven.
June 25, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Media shocked that public didn’t overwhelmingly support media backed ladder grabbing centrist. Film at eleven.
The hot toy this Christmas is going to be a remote control squeaky tank
June 15, 2025 at 4:49 PM
The hot toy this Christmas is going to be a remote control squeaky tank
Someone left a KKK out in the rain
June 15, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Someone left a KKK out in the rain
Holding Fyre Fest in DC this time didn’t help
June 15, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Holding Fyre Fest in DC this time didn’t help
Had an idea for a writing prompt. Play wordle or a similar game. Then take the words you used and figure out a situation that uses them all.
June 14, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Had an idea for a writing prompt. Play wordle or a similar game. Then take the words you used and figure out a situation that uses them all.
It’s weird seeing people now saying “this isn’t what I voted for,” because it’s what I voted against
June 9, 2025 at 2:10 PM
It’s weird seeing people now saying “this isn’t what I voted for,” because it’s what I voted against
The grammar of truth is at play right now. The government and press can truthfully say the LA protests escalated to violence. They will just leave out who escalated it if advancing the government’s position
June 8, 2025 at 3:35 PM
The grammar of truth is at play right now. The government and press can truthfully say the LA protests escalated to violence. They will just leave out who escalated it if advancing the government’s position
Things my cat does on catnip:
Sniff my eyebrows
Fight my box of Addams Family Cereal
Convince me we have a ghost
Sniff my eyebrows
Fight my box of Addams Family Cereal
Convince me we have a ghost
June 3, 2025 at 7:17 AM
Things my cat does on catnip:
Sniff my eyebrows
Fight my box of Addams Family Cereal
Convince me we have a ghost
Sniff my eyebrows
Fight my box of Addams Family Cereal
Convince me we have a ghost
Lay down to take a nap. Mind wanders. Figure out the intentionally overcomplex structure for a script that’s been all loose ideas until now. Clotheslines strung, just need to start hanging all the gags on them and start smoothing out the bumps. After that nap.
May 24, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Lay down to take a nap. Mind wanders. Figure out the intentionally overcomplex structure for a script that’s been all loose ideas until now. Clotheslines strung, just need to start hanging all the gags on them and start smoothing out the bumps. After that nap.
After a long session of insomnia stretching I laid down and felt so relaxed I actually said “oh my gosh”
May 21, 2025 at 11:16 AM
After a long session of insomnia stretching I laid down and felt so relaxed I actually said “oh my gosh”
Trump in 2015: We’re gonna drain the swamp!
His health secretary in 2025: Swamp’s fine, jump on in!
His health secretary in 2025: Swamp’s fine, jump on in!
May 17, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Trump in 2015: We’re gonna drain the swamp!
His health secretary in 2025: Swamp’s fine, jump on in!
His health secretary in 2025: Swamp’s fine, jump on in!
When you wake up in the middle of the night with a weird taste in your mouth, but you don’t want to make too much noise with your electric toothbrush. But then you remember that if you don’t hit the button it’s still a toothbrush.
May 5, 2025 at 9:02 AM
When you wake up in the middle of the night with a weird taste in your mouth, but you don’t want to make too much noise with your electric toothbrush. But then you remember that if you don’t hit the button it’s still a toothbrush.
There’s always talk of one hit wonders, sometimes a novelty song and sometimes just far from their best work, a gateway single. But what about groups or artists who most people can name 5 or more songs even if they weren’t hits? Whattaya got?
April 30, 2025 at 5:06 AM
There’s always talk of one hit wonders, sometimes a novelty song and sometimes just far from their best work, a gateway single. But what about groups or artists who most people can name 5 or more songs even if they weren’t hits? Whattaya got?
DJT is the worst parts of Lex Luthor and Booster Gold
April 29, 2025 at 6:52 AM
DJT is the worst parts of Lex Luthor and Booster Gold
It’s weird when you go to scream into the void and you get there and it’s already screaming back everything you’re thinking.
Me too, void. Me too.
Me too, void. Me too.
April 26, 2025 at 5:56 AM
It’s weird when you go to scream into the void and you get there and it’s already screaming back everything you’re thinking.
Me too, void. Me too.
Me too, void. Me too.
If the SAVE act passes, married women may want to consider reverting back to their maiden names (where applicable) so it matches your birth certificate, so you retain the ability to vote.
If your husband refuses, consider divorce.
If your husband refuses, consider divorce.
April 11, 2025 at 4:08 AM
If the SAVE act passes, married women may want to consider reverting back to their maiden names (where applicable) so it matches your birth certificate, so you retain the ability to vote.
If your husband refuses, consider divorce.
If your husband refuses, consider divorce.