Truly stunning that there was not one, but two fires from the household that has previously fried whole turkeys without incident. Balanced out by the acceptable volume on the TV. No idea why it wasn't blaring but I'll take it

Millennials roped into TV tech support: II
Crashouts while parallel parking: I
Parking tickets: 0
Mom-in-law loses day-old cup of coffee, devastated: Y
Oven-door-open jingle stuck in my head: Y
False starts to heading home: IIII

He also got artisanal moisturizer labelled "pink" that is very floral, the gender of it all is something to behold

"bitch;" is going straight into my arsenal, thank you for this revelation

every day with this tweet

Poll worker seemed to think I was there not to vote but to do something else (?). Had to assure her I was in fact trying to vote before she got the ball rolling for me lol