Debby Downer
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Debby Downer
@princessbinch.bsky.social
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Reposted by Debby Downer
maddigans.com
My mom passed away last night.

My heart hurts and I'm at a complete loss. Please read (alt text enabled for convenience), share, and tip/dono if you can. I absolutely hate this.

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My mom passed away last night. I'm sorry in advance if some of this doesn't make too much sense, I'm totally lost and numb and I need an outlet. Let me preface this by saying my mom was my rock and my whole world. We were very close and she has always been my absolute best friend. My mom had me when she was 23 and raised me mostly all by herself along with my grandma. She has been through so much and she has always been the strongest woman I've ever known. When we lost my grandma in late 2020 and youngest brother in July 2023, we were devastated on both occasions. It was a massive loss to my mom, my other younger brother and I. Since then my mom's health has declined in various ways. I have been living with her to take care of her and make sure she is eating and staying as healthy as possible, but the pain has just been too hard to overcome. Last night around 1am as I was getting ready to head to bed, I had heard a noise coming from her room so I went to go check on her. When I approached her doorway I saw her laying diagonal on her bed with her feet hanging off the side (as if she was trying to get out of bed). I flipped on the light and that's when I noticed her eyes and mouth were open. I knew immediately I had to perform CPR. As I had started I realized the bed was too bouncy, I picked her up and laid her on the floor and continued. At this point I dialed 911. Continuing CPR the paramedics arrived and took over, and I left the room. 20 minutes later I was informed that her heart still had some electrical activity, but it was no longer beating and she was not breathing on her own. They rushed her to the nearby hospital with heart and lung support and I was able to ride with an officer to the emergency room. When I arrived I had spoken to the doctor and that's when I knew for certain. She was gone. As they are not completely sure of the cause of death, she will be given an autopsy and I will be contacting the funeral home on Monday and go from there. I want to also take this opportunity to put another emphasis on why I have lived with my mother. She has also been assisting me with my own condition, which I have held off from disclosing on here, but I feel now is the right time. I have been living with a genetic disease that has slowly been deteriorating my eyesight since birth. I have had severe myopia since a young age which led to retinal detachments in my right eye that ultimately left me blind in that eye at 11 years old. My left eye has thankfully been stable since then but definitely not without its own issues. During the last 2-3 years my left eye has been developing a cataract, furthering the loss of vision. This has led to a continued loss of the ability to drive, and has limited my abilities to hold a normal job. Currently I do not meet the visual acuity (or lack of) requirements to collect disability because my vision is "just good enough" not to qualify. These circumstances are what led me to start selling merch and art and anything else I could do to make ends meet and stay afloat. Unfortunately with the passing of my brother and my own circumstances, it has put my family and I in debt. Now with the passing of my mom, I am unsure what other expenses are going to arise. As for me, I don't currently have much to my name and I may be having to abruptly move out of State in the very immediate future to stay with my brother and his family, and may have to give up my three cats and dog, which will definitely add more hardship for me emotionally. This is just so difficult for me and I know this is only the beginning. I don't usually like asking for tips/donos but I'm in grave need of some support. My goal is unfortunately a bit high, but it's necessary. I would offer art commissions but I'm afraid I may not have the time.
March 29, 2025 at 8:20 PM