Who I am is incompatible with who I was. And while thats terrifying...because who I used to he was someone I was proud of being. Someone who wasn't so easily hurt. They were altogether empty and prone to anxiety and long lasting resentment. Because they couldn't figure out why they felt so bad.

Maybe I'm still stuck on who I used to be. That me made decisions more cleanly because things weren't so clouded but now...I'm stupid. Ibget jealous and sad over small things. I want to be noticed and wanted. I'm all in all an idiot compared to who I was but I can't be like that anymore

Actually I'm just remembering the cold calculating anger I used to have...but this anger isn't the same it's raw and more stupid. I make poor decisions, it's a passion. It's not cruel it's just hurt. Still terrifying but maybe I don't need to he scared of it.

It was all consensual. You just realize some limits in the heat of the moment that's all