"French toast isn't the cause of cancer... It's penis."

-My 15 year old for absolutely no reason at all.

Laying in bed playing Lego Fortnite and scrolling Xiaohongshu
Husband: *pained grunt* WHAT WAS THAT!?
Me: "It was a titty twister. I felt like you needed it. It's been too long.
Husband: "What do you mean "it's been too long"!?"
Me: "Well, I've never given you one before so... It's been too long."

They want to ban the teaching of the unpleasant facts of American history because people might conclude injustices in the past that contribute to inequalities in the present should be rectified, instead of their belief, which is that some groups of people are inherently superior to others

Reed.
Aka Reedimus (+/-) Maximus, aka Potato aka Tayto, aka Tater tot, aka Tot, aka Sweet Potato, aka French Fries (when she's got the zoomies because fast food) aka Tumbleina, aka Tumbleweed, aka Puppycat, aka Pumpkin aka Stinky baby, aka One eyed bandit aka Bestest baby in the whole wide world.

When a single billionaire can accumulate more money in 10 seconds than their employees make in one year, while workers struggle to meet the basic cost of rent and medicine, then yes, every billionaire really is a policy failure.

Read our op-ed here ⤵️

Are cat taxes per post? Still trying to figure this out.

I think if I had a bird beak it would be a parrot beak because I like to bite tiny seeds and I feel this beak would be the most satisfyingly precise seed splitter.

I never had Twitter, and refused to use Threads. I don't know what to do here. Is there a cat tax? I'll leave one just to be safe.