yoel
@practicegirlfriend.bsky.social
I invented the term “Chef’s Hug” five minutes ago. when something is like pretty good. This 6.5/10 Spicy Tuna Onigiri is chefs hug
September 4, 2025 at 12:25 PM
I invented the term “Chef’s Hug” five minutes ago. when something is like pretty good. This 6.5/10 Spicy Tuna Onigiri is chefs hug
bushwick rules i’ve never heard an effeminate masc call a man “boss”
August 6, 2025 at 2:21 PM
bushwick rules i’ve never heard an effeminate masc call a man “boss”
Overheard NYC but i made it up:
“So i’m going to milan next week and then paris and then SecondParis which is like a secret paris that only i can go to”
“So i’m going to milan next week and then paris and then SecondParis which is like a secret paris that only i can go to”
August 6, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Overheard NYC but i made it up:
“So i’m going to milan next week and then paris and then SecondParis which is like a secret paris that only i can go to”
“So i’m going to milan next week and then paris and then SecondParis which is like a secret paris that only i can go to”
every little boy in the airport rn looks like the rizzler help
July 23, 2025 at 3:36 PM
every little boy in the airport rn looks like the rizzler help
some of you mfs would stay in Omelas and it shows
July 10, 2025 at 3:17 AM
some of you mfs would stay in Omelas and it shows
tryna spend less, call me buyphobic
May 31, 2025 at 10:32 PM
tryna spend less, call me buyphobic
me to someone i hold dear, “You’re on thick ice, buddy!”
May 31, 2025 at 6:59 PM
me to someone i hold dear, “You’re on thick ice, buddy!”
Surf n Turf but it’s me waterboaring a terf
May 25, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Surf n Turf but it’s me waterboaring a terf
CVS: “everything is locked up because you’re a filthy rat”
QFC : “show me your receipt or thin blue line tattoo or i’ll kill you”
trader joes: “please, fuck my wife”
QFC : “show me your receipt or thin blue line tattoo or i’ll kill you”
trader joes: “please, fuck my wife”
May 13, 2025 at 5:33 PM
CVS: “everything is locked up because you’re a filthy rat”
QFC : “show me your receipt or thin blue line tattoo or i’ll kill you”
trader joes: “please, fuck my wife”
QFC : “show me your receipt or thin blue line tattoo or i’ll kill you”
trader joes: “please, fuck my wife”
outside of envelope: “open this or i’ll kill your family”
inside of envelope: “want a new credit card? 🥺”
inside of envelope: “want a new credit card? 🥺”
May 6, 2025 at 3:06 AM
outside of envelope: “open this or i’ll kill your family”
inside of envelope: “want a new credit card? 🥺”
inside of envelope: “want a new credit card? 🥺”
face ID still recognizing me after a self care night ::::://////
April 15, 2025 at 4:35 AM
face ID still recognizing me after a self care night ::::://////
whenever someone uses the phrase “opposite sex” i just assume it means when an avoidant and anxious person hookup
April 9, 2025 at 10:46 PM
whenever someone uses the phrase “opposite sex” i just assume it means when an avoidant and anxious person hookup
if i did dating apps my opening line would probably be “Rihanna should release a version of ‘Umbrella’ without the stupid Jay-Z intro”
April 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
if i did dating apps my opening line would probably be “Rihanna should release a version of ‘Umbrella’ without the stupid Jay-Z intro”
yoel gets her first iPhone today
-bluesky'd from my android
-bluesky'd from my android
March 31, 2025 at 5:39 PM
yoel gets her first iPhone today
-bluesky'd from my android
-bluesky'd from my android
the problem with Seattle is none of you cowards smoke Newports
March 19, 2025 at 7:25 PM
the problem with Seattle is none of you cowards smoke Newports
pausing "The Royal Tenenbaums" to explain that Margot's (Gwyneth Paltrow) iconic Lacoste striped polo dress was a custom piece, as they had no such dress in their catalog at the time.
March 10, 2025 at 6:11 AM
pausing "The Royal Tenenbaums" to explain that Margot's (Gwyneth Paltrow) iconic Lacoste striped polo dress was a custom piece, as they had no such dress in their catalog at the time.
tried to pay cash at a small business and a 19 yr old shot me in the foot
February 27, 2025 at 8:40 PM
tried to pay cash at a small business and a 19 yr old shot me in the foot
beggars can't be choosers but I'm not a beggar so if you ride lime scooters you're OFF THE CUTIE LIST
February 26, 2025 at 8:18 AM
beggars can't be choosers but I'm not a beggar so if you ride lime scooters you're OFF THE CUTIE LIST
'heart shaped box' but instead of a box it's a medium sized cheesecake and instead of of being locked inside it for weeks I ate the entire thing in one sitting..... HEY! WAIT!
February 20, 2025 at 4:46 AM
'heart shaped box' but instead of a box it's a medium sized cheesecake and instead of of being locked inside it for weeks I ate the entire thing in one sitting..... HEY! WAIT!
thanks but I actually did have "table asking me if I'm autistic" on my bingo card
February 9, 2025 at 2:33 AM
thanks but I actually did have "table asking me if I'm autistic" on my bingo card
"Now boarding group E as in 'Ew yoel, you're eating a SECOND airport grab n go chicken caesar wrap?'"
January 30, 2025 at 1:14 PM
"Now boarding group E as in 'Ew yoel, you're eating a SECOND airport grab n go chicken caesar wrap?'"
At Airport: schmuck with Israeli flag on his luggage asks me if it is 746 AM or PM. I point to a window and say "figure it out"
January 26, 2025 at 9:26 PM
At Airport: schmuck with Israeli flag on his luggage asks me if it is 746 AM or PM. I point to a window and say "figure it out"
1/X Cold Soup Season: Ajoblanco
January 21, 2025 at 6:00 AM
1/X Cold Soup Season: Ajoblanco