I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘I thought the decision of where to put it would be ‘lounge or bedroom’, not ‘general waste or recycling’….’

* I’m not sure that’s their real name…

Boris likes inveterate herring, men who walk like they're carrying two imaginary suitcases, and screwing his personalised numberplate to the front of the toilet cubicle to give himself a sense of exclusivity when using public restrooms.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘Well, you’ve made a right Royal mess of that…’

Wills and Kate like aristocratic herring, attempting to break the Guinness World Record for the most amount of minor discrepancies stirred into a Victoria sponge cake mix, and doing blow offs that sound like a duck battling with an umbrella on Brighton seafront.

*think about it, Councils are missing a real money making trick here. People could adopt a pothole, pay a small monthly fee to help towards its upkeep, and get a quarterly newsletter from it with news, updates, and photos showing how much it’s grown.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘It reminds me of that phrase: If at first you don’t succeed, don’t send your customer the sodding portrait!’

Maybe BaaBaa likes developmental herring, candles that smell like a forgotten punchline, and wondering when her local council is going to start an ‘adopt a pothole’ scheme*.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘You’re able to catch a moment in time.

Unfortunately it’s on a broken watch where everything is wrong.’

Tommy Lee likes double denim herring, photo bombing wedding proposals at the foot of The Blackpool Tower, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck skateboarding through a swimming pool changing room.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘It’s shit’.

Apologies Kyler, I thought you said ‘Schmitt’

Richard likes entrepreneurial herring, candles that smell like an adulterers wardrobe, and attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most amount of toilet breaks taken during a job interview.

Not a fan of redbubble (from what I’ve seen). One thing I’ve always been proud of is the quality of the stuff we sell.

Being honest, I had cards on Moonpig for three years; they cancelled my contract due to poor sales. My fault, I just don’t push stuff enough.

I wish had the confidence to order more stock but unfortunately things are tight at the moment i couldn’t risk having loads of unsold stock like previous years.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘I’m bringing a ladder with me next time we meet. I don’t want to be seen to look up to you in any way…’

Ms Witherspoon likes crapulous herring, candles that smell like feet jostling for space under a dining room table, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck doing wheel-spins on a moped outside Ladbrokes.

I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.

Review from the customer:

‘It looks like an unkempt goatee beard with legs’

Jim likes bewhiskered herring, answering every telephone call with a fart, and vapes that taste like the smell of a semi-professional footballers shower gel.

Janet likes selling ghost tours of haunted bird boxes, aftershave that smells like a botched exorcism, and tricking people into thinking their toilets are haunted by leaving a single sheet of tissue floating in the water like a ghost.