Good article. Nice to emphasize "after divorce." I'm a divorce lawyer, and dating before or duing a divorce can create emotional complications for everyone, and hinder settlement. My take? Wait until the divorce is final. nydivorcefacts.com/date-during-...

The laws have not been good in keeping up with the reality of modern custody. Olden tymes, one party got the kid. Now, we routinely have a variety of split schedules. Tax laws and support laws are woefully lagging behind modern times.

Well deserved. She's an amazing and utterly original writer.

This gave me an ugly flashback to one of my first divorce cases. I had to stand up in court and read off which party was getting which Sinatra music CDs.

Great advice. Only us lawyers win in high conflict litigations. And the children suffer. Do you to put aside money for your kid's college education or my kid's? Here's a blog I did on cost of just a custody battle. Mediate if you can. nydivorcefacts.com/child-custod...

Wasser seems to take the right approach- avoid fighting for ego and unrealistic expections. Divorce is a process but one that shouldn't destroy you. and if kids are involved, you will still be dealing with your ex. Find your balance and don't let divorce ruin you. Sometimes is actually works.

If the kidnapping occurs in the US, we have the federal Parental Anti-Kidnapping Act, and the Uniformed Child Custody Juristiction Act. International is tricky. There is a the Hague Convention an international treaty, but it can be dicey. And without treaties almost impossible.

Great piece. Many times custody isn't about the child, but about getting over on the other parent. Also, some parents project their hatred for their partner on the children and say "They hate their father." Also this hatred can manifest in "But, he'll hurt my kids," despite no history or proof.

Divorce is the hardest call you’ll ever make. People circle my office for months, sometimes years, asking: “Why am I staying?” There are valid reasons to stay — but if the unhappiness outweighs them, it may be time.
Remember: divorce isn’t a magic happiness button. It’s a step, not the finish line.

Unfortunately, the most dangerous place is in a custody dispute. Litigants, lawyers and even judges have been shot. The reality is that if a person is going to do this, they won't be dissuaded by an order of protection.

I'm a Family Law attorney, and have found that the quality of CPS varies wildly county by county. But, same playbook-get the parents to sign over custody. DON'T. To get removal they must go to a Family Court judge and prove their case. No money? Court can appoint a lawyer. Talk to a lawyer.

Thanks! I will add this to my follow up article.

I did a blog on the Top Ten Red Flags. I would appreciate input on whether I missed any. I can write Part II. nydivorcefacts.com/red-flags-in...

I've been a lawyer for 40 years. I've seen everything from gunshots to screaming matches. Cops are not the best judges of what happened. Sometimes it's the man, sometimes,yes, the woman. Sometimes it's mutual. We need to have a better system than just sending police to a domestic situation.

Under New York Law, domestic violence committed in front of children is a form a child abuse. Violence not committed in front of the children can be considered in custody cases, but does not automatically prevent visitation or even custody.

Allegations of drug addiction and alcoholism are very common in custody battles. That's why judges are very careful. Urinalysis tests are common, and sometimes hair follicle tests are ordered. Over the past 40 years as a lawyer, I've become well-versed in addiction.

I've never had this situation in my custody cases. But, in NY there is a rebuttal presumption against visitation. A bill was introduced to make it automatic, but it died in committee. There are almost no reported cases on this. I don't think any judge I know would allow it.

Some of the best soldiers I have served with and generals that I have worked for have been women.