This isn't me saying "don't close mags it's sad!" btw. Everything must come to an end. But it doesn't mean I'm not going to mourn the mag I literally submitted once to and got rejected from before it closed down. I guess it's just because now that I've been doing this a bit I can see the passion

And hit me once, shame on me,
Hit me twice, shame on you! (Hand!)
I’m shaming myself, shaming my blood
Dripping into nothingness down the drain (Hand!)

(2/2!)

Father, do you dream of your father? (Hand!)
Or are your dreamscapes full of chords
And rulers, just like mine? (Hand!)
This mansion smells of bloody rosin
And a model city beneath floorboards (Hand!)
You forced my mother’s hand in marriage
Now you demand mine, take that foot of wood (Hand!)

(1/2)

It was a banger story but I ended up just uploading it to AO3 instead of sending it to a journal. It remains the only "I regret uploading this instead of submitting" besides a poem. Ah well. TL;DR don't go to a school where you're the only English freshman. It's not worth it, guys. (9/9)

I check on that college's journal every now and then, 3 years later. It is still dead! And quite frankly, I don't care. The Mockingbird is much better than it will ever be. The only thing I regret is not giving that story another chance to be published. (8/9)

They told me they were going to publish the short story next year, but I told them not to because I was transferring to ETSU and didn't want to see it in their journal when I was gone. That remains the only withdrawal I've EVER had to do, because I don't sim sub or anything. (7/?)

So I realized how dire the situation at my ex-university was. There were no English majors interested in doing anything with the journal besides me. I had also lost the chance to take a creative writing class that semester, so I was UPSET. I immediately started looking to transfer. (6/?)

I was finally emailed 5 months later to be told... there were no longer any editors. Every. Single. English major that was applicable. Was gone. That's how I learned half of the English department had either withdrawn, graduated, or changed majors. (5/?)

So I was like "hey why the hell did you do that?" and she said "well neopronouns aren't real words!" and I wrote my final paper that semester to spite her. Anyways I'm getting off topic again, after all of that I finally, FINALLY submitted. And nobody heard anything for months on end. (4/?)

This was in 2022, so I guess Apollo threw that dodgeball about Ash-Hull. ANYWAYS. I asked one of my English professors if she'd like to help me edit and she was like "sure!" I gave her a copy... and it turns out she mostly marked out every. single. pronoun. of a character who went by xe/xyr. (3/?)

And of course I was like "oh, that's fun! I've never submitted everywhere before! I should!" So I wrote a story about a dystopian America, I don't remember everything but it was ruined by a President Ash-Hull (please laugh) and had rebels fighting back or something like that. (2/?)