85 yards through the butthole of Indiana

this is a Chicago account now

This floor plan pisses me off

I rarely ever leave the loop

We are so back

Moving from Twitter to Bluesky means you can get long sought after handles that have been held hostage for years

United: “we ran 300 statistical models saying that we can speed up our boarding process by 3 minutes and 12 seconds if we increase the number of boarding groups from 5 to 6”

Southwest: “we’re running our own version of the Stanford prison experiment”

The Barbie movie is advertising on Facebook marketplace now

Born too early to become a space pirate

Born to late to become a real pirate

Born just in time to try and become a Bluesky microcelebrity

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

Better to have Uranus in Cancer than cancer in Uranus

People don’t talk enough about how Cincinnati is the best city* in America

*without light rail
*without a network of protected bike lanes
*with increasingly problematic politics
*that was formerly ran by a game show host

ME: Is he going to make it?
DOCTOR: No. I'm afraid he's down with
the sickness
ME: *crying* oohwahahahah
DOCTOR: *holds hand*
oohwahahahah