Emotionally, Life of a Showgirl JUST dropped. But chronologically, Halloween is next week!? What the FUCK

Having a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude in this life gets people you love, if you have good taste, killed

Heck is a portmanteau of hell and fuck. That's why you can say "I'm doing heckin' swell," and not "I'm doing healing swell," even though it sounds better

Don'tworry, baby, Daddy'll take better care of you than cheese can

I got that dog in me; he's asleep in front of the oven

Sometimes you gotta call Olivia Benson on a butt, cause that shit is especially heinous

A God tier joke is when a toddler puts absolutely literally anything on their head and says "Hat"

Why was Coint Rugen so bitter?

Five packs of finger puppets really made him feel othered

That wasn't a ban, that was an update, smdh🙄#clockapp

Do your local library a kindness! Share this if you love and support libraries and librarians (don’t forget your school library & librarian, too!) 😊📚

Thank you to all the library workers who keep the magic alive—you’re true heroes! ✨💚

Hey, @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com I have an idea for you! If you want people to read your books without thinking of you as a rapist, don't r*pe! Hope that helps

In The Shadow Of Two Gunmen? You mean Andy Dwyer's favorite album of 2006? Yeah, I've heard of it