i have no motivation for m11s or m12s (i did like the beginning of both fights), like i do want to clear but its not yaoi fun and memes like m10s bro. im still on the beach in my heart. im making my own wave....

and telling me that i was being given space! as if it totally wasn't ghosting me for months without a word? and still just. why was there so much weight on having to be able to tell me that you need a hug whenever. when he knew that was hard for me. when he knew i wasn't doing well!!!!!!

this one still gets me sometimes bc imagine knowing u triggered a SA victim by telling her that you need a hug bc ur job and even when she offers to be there any other way, HAVING THE NERVE to say how she wasn't there for u bc, essentially, u couldn't tell her that you needed a hug? men.

i have my irl too. i've been pretty overall happy. i've been getting out more :) i still have my triggers but everyone can see the overall difference. i've been eating better and trying new things too <3

if it's ever thrown in my face again, i'll say what i've always said, people don't care about victims.

if parth is to be believed without even publicly posting his response, if all our dms are "too long" (even 12pages), if the rape threat doesn't matter because it's "just words" and you're supposed to just talk it out? like idc. these people are terrible and quiet for a reason

i think it'll always be sad knowing how much people genuinely just virtue signal and how much speaking out/truth won't matter, at least in the moment. ppl can be emotional but victims cannot (but if they aren't, then its also fake?) its whatever

tho i did leave him a massive text of all his shit bc like. w/e he never replied and ghosted. no care. ppl do abusive shit all the time and there's just like. nothing to combat it? i keep wanting to fight to be better people. and most ppl dont want that

there's nothing left. there's no point in coming out abt things. i think even how hana and harukie still don't play ffxiv much either. you lose either way whether people believe you or not

too long to read. no one cares. kei still doesn't believe me. people never cared about victims. i'm affecting saori's career, shut up. ignore her, ignore her, don't give her attention she's unwell. he didn't abuse her.

my story had no reach, saori/spudsy actively silencing me, choosing my abuser, telling people that he didn't do anything wrong. it's "flirting but he apologized". no emotional/mental abuse, not even after the SA where he continuously ignores me/snaps/flirts

????????????????????????//im done

the xo part also immediately goes into the blanche dm, which is in the xenos video. like idk. clicking on the extended when its obviously the longer thing (even though that doesnt have much hi/hello, it does have flirting) but why even click on the extended when u obv dont have time for that. what

"oh its just flirting" "hi/hello; telenovella", the tldr of parth barely touches that, just enough to set up that the flirting *did* happen, and there isn't even a hi/hello thing to start off with?? it really just felt like she was downplaying/lying so her viewers would be less likely to look

its just. frustrating. i get its A LOT of evidence, i dont expect ppl to go thru everything, but for ppl to just kind of shun it immediately is a little crazy when i got so much shit for not having proof. you cant say you care abt victims and then shit on me for providing evidence

im still talking to saori and i sent spudsy another message but it is rough out here and i dont expect much