I feel like I have been gone a while. It's a new year and yet I still don't know what to do. I am scared still to write or learn and I can't enjoy stuff. I swear something bad might happen when I least expect it.

It's interesting how a year ago I had responses and I was no one. Now it feels like the grace period is over and everyone has found their circles.

I wish I could go back to the Discord again. Given another chance after being a dick before. I wouldn't act like how I acted before.

I want to watch TheGameAwards tonight but just can't. I can't seem to enjoy them like I used to. It feels like I enjoy them less and less as the years go by. Last year I watched them with others on @hbomberguy.bsky.social Discord and it was painful. Just toxic, cynical, depressing, and bitter vibes.

I am scared to be in the world because I made bad decisions and mistakes that I didn't realize were bad. I want to be a good person. I am scared.

I feel like my life isn't getting any better. I swear nothing is good right now.

It's interesting how no one seems to want to talk. I feel lost. Back in late 2024 it seemed like everyone was talking and interacting. Now it feels like the pecking order has been established. So much for a better social media platform. It could have been something good.

It feels like everything is different. I swear I used to at least have responses. Now I feel alone. I'm sorry.

I would give anything to talk to a writer I trust and to try and start writing and being creative again. I would do anything to find friends. I would love to be a part of the world and do good.

I've been apologizing to everyone I can. I just should have been mature and tried to learn instead of immature and argue. I regret everything. I won't bother them again. I just learned it again when I watched a new video today by Tronn on YouTube. I failed. And I need to stop. You were right.

@bigjoel.bsky.social Hello, I am a person who was a jerk to you on YouTube because I didn't agree with some of your movie reviews. I am sorry for acting toxic and immature. It was my fault completely. I will not bother you or your community anymore.

@katblaque.bsky.social I wanted to apologize for being a jerk on YouTube. I should not have acted like a dick because I didn't agree with things, and I am still trying to learn. I'm sorry, Kat. I won't bother you or your community again.

Okay, it's odd because my first account back in 2024 had multiple comments and likes. I guess the algorithm found Bluesky. I hope someone on here wants to be my friend. I feel alone.

Is anyone else here sort of new to the community? Or trying hard to be better? Or more creative? I don't know if I am the only guy at 26 years old who is waking from 15 years of escapism and ignorance. I regret everything right now.

@danaterrace.bsky.social If I wanted to learn to draw, animate, and design from near scratch at 26 years old, is it still possible? I feel like the world treats the early 20s as the big time to choose. I am still learning the basics about life right now. Only I am to blame, though.

I feel like I will regret making a third account on here, but I always seem to be unable to just stay in my hole and not bother people. And I don't intentionally want to be a negative in the world.

@innuendostudios.bsky.social Hello, you don't personally know me but I wanted to apologize for being a jerk to you on YouTube. I never got to apologize but wanted to properly. I am sorry for acting jealous and vindictive. It was my fault completely. I'm sorry.

Third time is a charm. I deleted two previous accounts, but wanted to try again on bsky. I hope I can learn and be a good part of the community.