I think the last time I started a new job without having to provide ID was probably my first paper round. Compulsory ID cards aren’t going to end illegal working practices and the money could be better spent elsewhere.

Can’t remember starting a job without having to provide two types of photo ID (with the possible exception of my paper round). Voluntary scheme could be really useful for anyone without a driver’s license, passport, bus pass etc. Compulsory scheme won’t stop illegal work practices.

And don't even think about flushing!

There’s nothing worn under the kilt. It’s all in perfect working order.

Don’t look at me as if butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. Total hooligans in the garden but lovely all the same.

That’s good luck! You’re going to have a great day.