@pieintheskye.bsky.social
Amateur artist, middling musician, PhD in internet self-diagnosis. If you need me, I'm either outside, or I ate all your snacks and fell asleep in a corner with someone's dog. I get paid to yell at people.
Finally (FINALLY!!) finished my portrait of the goodest boy. It's all framed up and ready for gifting. I'm a little mad that the glass in the frame is actually scratched plastic, but that's what I get for thrifting all my frames. Next skills I to learn: woodworking and glass cutting. 🤦
January 2, 2026 at 6:47 PM
Finally (FINALLY!!) finished my portrait of the goodest boy. It's all framed up and ready for gifting. I'm a little mad that the glass in the frame is actually scratched plastic, but that's what I get for thrifting all my frames. Next skills I to learn: woodworking and glass cutting. 🤦
So ICE is the government's new "no neckbeard left behind" program? If my old ass was told to do 15 push ups in a minute, I'd be SUPER insulted and spend the extra 30 seconds bullying wannabe Nazis.
December 7, 2025 at 8:37 PM
So ICE is the government's new "no neckbeard left behind" program? If my old ass was told to do 15 push ups in a minute, I'd be SUPER insulted and spend the extra 30 seconds bullying wannabe Nazis.
Just got a VM from my pastor asking me to open and close a huge Bible at church service. I just know Imma drop that thing in front of the whole congregation. What do I do then? Burn it? Is it like when you retire a flag? Do I host a Bible burning, or can I just light that fucker up then and there?
December 3, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Just got a VM from my pastor asking me to open and close a huge Bible at church service. I just know Imma drop that thing in front of the whole congregation. What do I do then? Burn it? Is it like when you retire a flag? Do I host a Bible burning, or can I just light that fucker up then and there?
I'm not saying Starbucks is bad and has always been bad. I'm just pointing out that if you've had their light roast, then you already know what a stink bug tastes like.
November 22, 2025 at 2:11 PM
I'm not saying Starbucks is bad and has always been bad. I'm just pointing out that if you've had their light roast, then you already know what a stink bug tastes like.
GUYS, I have an idea for funding SNAP and ACA!
PAY PER VIEW ROSTER:
Girl's Boxing: Bovino v. Miller
Women's MMA: Noem v. MTG
Intermission Slapfight: Fugate v. Perkins Coie
Men's Wrestling: Vought v. A fired NPS Ranger
Feature Boxing: Vance v. A Ukrainian
Feature MMA: Hegseth v. Rousey
PAY PER VIEW ROSTER:
Girl's Boxing: Bovino v. Miller
Women's MMA: Noem v. MTG
Intermission Slapfight: Fugate v. Perkins Coie
Men's Wrestling: Vought v. A fired NPS Ranger
Feature Boxing: Vance v. A Ukrainian
Feature MMA: Hegseth v. Rousey
November 18, 2025 at 9:36 PM
GUYS, I have an idea for funding SNAP and ACA!
PAY PER VIEW ROSTER:
Girl's Boxing: Bovino v. Miller
Women's MMA: Noem v. MTG
Intermission Slapfight: Fugate v. Perkins Coie
Men's Wrestling: Vought v. A fired NPS Ranger
Feature Boxing: Vance v. A Ukrainian
Feature MMA: Hegseth v. Rousey
PAY PER VIEW ROSTER:
Girl's Boxing: Bovino v. Miller
Women's MMA: Noem v. MTG
Intermission Slapfight: Fugate v. Perkins Coie
Men's Wrestling: Vought v. A fired NPS Ranger
Feature Boxing: Vance v. A Ukrainian
Feature MMA: Hegseth v. Rousey
So yea it's been over a year and I'm FINALLY making progress on this dog portrait again. I still miss him (especially during the holidays when I'd dogsit Christmas week), but it's time to close this chapter. ❤️
November 10, 2025 at 10:45 PM
So yea it's been over a year and I'm FINALLY making progress on this dog portrait again. I still miss him (especially during the holidays when I'd dogsit Christmas week), but it's time to close this chapter. ❤️
Most law partners to corporate clients: Let's look at these provisions. I think they may need some finessing and an update. Let's also make sure to update internal policies.
My boss to our corporate clients: Your contract is dumb and your sales team is dumber. I can fix one but not the other.
My boss to our corporate clients: Your contract is dumb and your sales team is dumber. I can fix one but not the other.
November 7, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Most law partners to corporate clients: Let's look at these provisions. I think they may need some finessing and an update. Let's also make sure to update internal policies.
My boss to our corporate clients: Your contract is dumb and your sales team is dumber. I can fix one but not the other.
My boss to our corporate clients: Your contract is dumb and your sales team is dumber. I can fix one but not the other.
Here to unburden myself: I just used the bathroom, flushed and stood in front of the toilet with freshener spray in one hand and my phone in the other. When the flush was done, I POINTED MY PHONE AT THE TOILET. For like, WAY too long. At what age can I stop pretending I belong in civilized society??
June 17, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Here to unburden myself: I just used the bathroom, flushed and stood in front of the toilet with freshener spray in one hand and my phone in the other. When the flush was done, I POINTED MY PHONE AT THE TOILET. For like, WAY too long. At what age can I stop pretending I belong in civilized society??
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, shits its pants, weakens our cyber-defenses, supports Nazis, tanks the economy and levies nonsensical, economically unsupportable tariffs on all of our allies, it's probably a Russian shill.
...or a goose. Those things are chaotic evil.
...or a goose. Those things are chaotic evil.
April 3, 2025 at 6:28 PM
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, shits its pants, weakens our cyber-defenses, supports Nazis, tanks the economy and levies nonsensical, economically unsupportable tariffs on all of our allies, it's probably a Russian shill.
...or a goose. Those things are chaotic evil.
...or a goose. Those things are chaotic evil.
I would love to sit in on a Constitutional law class in Trump's 2025. I haven't stepped foot on a law school campus since 2010, but I assume the CL professor shows up to class with a court ordered therapist and the students are just burning textbooks and making pipe bombs and crying...?
March 26, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I would love to sit in on a Constitutional law class in Trump's 2025. I haven't stepped foot on a law school campus since 2010, but I assume the CL professor shows up to class with a court ordered therapist and the students are just burning textbooks and making pipe bombs and crying...?
Men of all ages: if you're out with a woman and she gets weird and asks you to take her home, GET HER HOME. Don't take it personally, don't pout or drag your feet, don't push her to talk about it. She is shutting down and can't handle your shit right now. If you care about her at all, GET HER HOME.
March 20, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Men of all ages: if you're out with a woman and she gets weird and asks you to take her home, GET HER HOME. Don't take it personally, don't pout or drag your feet, don't push her to talk about it. She is shutting down and can't handle your shit right now. If you care about her at all, GET HER HOME.
I've seen several dead dogs on the shoulders of local highways and it makes me so sad and a bit homicidal. I know people in this area are suffering and pets can be expensive. I know the shelters are full. But for the love of all that's holy, try to do right by your fur friend.
March 3, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I've seen several dead dogs on the shoulders of local highways and it makes me so sad and a bit homicidal. I know people in this area are suffering and pets can be expensive. I know the shelters are full. But for the love of all that's holy, try to do right by your fur friend.
Me most of the year: I think tardiness shows a lack of respect for other peoples' time.
Me in winter: I'm so sorry I'm late to everything forever.
Me in winter: I'm so sorry I'm late to everything forever.
January 20, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Me most of the year: I think tardiness shows a lack of respect for other peoples' time.
Me in winter: I'm so sorry I'm late to everything forever.
Me in winter: I'm so sorry I'm late to everything forever.
I used to think "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but all the haymakers life has thrown me just made me softer. Existing in complicated uncertainty takes strength of character. Holding space for others in that mud puddle of anxiety is metal af. Gimme a break I'm working on it.
January 20, 2025 at 8:46 PM
I used to think "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but all the haymakers life has thrown me just made me softer. Existing in complicated uncertainty takes strength of character. Holding space for others in that mud puddle of anxiety is metal af. Gimme a break I'm working on it.
Ran out of gas last night in -3F temps and the house got down to 42F by morning. I've hated winter ever since I got sepsis while camping in the Rockies during a freak June snowstorm, but it turns out blankets and hot chocolate are adequate short-term substitutes for habitable living conditions. 😂
January 20, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Ran out of gas last night in -3F temps and the house got down to 42F by morning. I've hated winter ever since I got sepsis while camping in the Rockies during a freak June snowstorm, but it turns out blankets and hot chocolate are adequate short-term substitutes for habitable living conditions. 😂
Not sure if watching Alien: Romulus made me feel better or worse about being pregnant. On one hand: pretty sure I won't lactate motor oil or give birth to slenderman. On the other hand: already wary of corporate healthcare. Either way, I guarantee my nightmares will be fucking spectacular tonight. 😕
December 11, 2024 at 1:45 AM
Not sure if watching Alien: Romulus made me feel better or worse about being pregnant. On one hand: pretty sure I won't lactate motor oil or give birth to slenderman. On the other hand: already wary of corporate healthcare. Either way, I guarantee my nightmares will be fucking spectacular tonight. 😕
So I'm getting ready to head back to my old town to go to church choir and the weather looks real turbulent and the light is super weird. I'm hoping for an apocalypse or the rapture. I'm pregnant, tryna fight my way to church. Don't think my rapture stats have ever been this good beam me up bro!
December 4, 2024 at 10:23 PM
So I'm getting ready to head back to my old town to go to church choir and the weather looks real turbulent and the light is super weird. I'm hoping for an apocalypse or the rapture. I'm pregnant, tryna fight my way to church. Don't think my rapture stats have ever been this good beam me up bro!
So far, pregnancy means: you must stay hydrated but also plain water makes you nauseous so add lemonade powder but avoid too much sugar but sweeteners are poison so eat lots of fiber instead and oh, also you might be constipated for 15 months anyway. My husband is going to start wearing a cup.
December 2, 2024 at 3:07 PM
So far, pregnancy means: you must stay hydrated but also plain water makes you nauseous so add lemonade powder but avoid too much sugar but sweeteners are poison so eat lots of fiber instead and oh, also you might be constipated for 15 months anyway. My husband is going to start wearing a cup.
So glad I replaced Twitter (my past venue for screaming frustration and dick jokes into the void without my family witnessing it) bc I'm pregnant and it's the worst and I haven't told anyone except my husband. A good wife informs her husband when his life/finances/penis is in imminent danger.
December 1, 2024 at 7:34 PM
So glad I replaced Twitter (my past venue for screaming frustration and dick jokes into the void without my family witnessing it) bc I'm pregnant and it's the worst and I haven't told anyone except my husband. A good wife informs her husband when his life/finances/penis is in imminent danger.
My new pulmonologist looked at my medical history and said "Looks like you had an exciting year and a million dollar write up" and that's the most succinct summary I've ever heard. But also, he told me to get a "sniff test." If he asks me to pull his finger, I'm getting a new pulmonologist.
November 30, 2024 at 6:12 PM
My new pulmonologist looked at my medical history and said "Looks like you had an exciting year and a million dollar write up" and that's the most succinct summary I've ever heard. But also, he told me to get a "sniff test." If he asks me to pull his finger, I'm getting a new pulmonologist.
For Black Friday, I did manual labor and didn't leave the house. I'm stained green, nauseous from the paint fumes, and my dog might never forgive me for locking her out of my office. I'd still rather paint the interior of a strip mall in hell for all eternity than go shopping. 👍
November 30, 2024 at 12:36 AM
For Black Friday, I did manual labor and didn't leave the house. I'm stained green, nauseous from the paint fumes, and my dog might never forgive me for locking her out of my office. I'd still rather paint the interior of a strip mall in hell for all eternity than go shopping. 👍
This is my soul dog, Skye. She is far more of a lady than I will ever be. And correspondingly THE WORST guard dog I've ever met.
November 27, 2024 at 1:59 PM
This is my soul dog, Skye. She is far more of a lady than I will ever be. And correspondingly THE WORST guard dog I've ever met.
While 2023 was trying to unalive me, I learned a lot about the lymphatic system. Turns out, part of your system handles just your head and right arm, and the rest handles everything else. My point is, being left-handed definitely seems to be the work of the devil. Hashtag science.
November 27, 2024 at 1:48 PM
While 2023 was trying to unalive me, I learned a lot about the lymphatic system. Turns out, part of your system handles just your head and right arm, and the rest handles everything else. My point is, being left-handed definitely seems to be the work of the devil. Hashtag science.
Starting a new portrait: Ranger was the biggest Labrador I've ever seen, and the best fur-friend his 4 human brothers could ask for. He crossed the rainbow bridge last week, leaving a rhinoceros-sized hole in our hearts. ❤️🩹
November 26, 2024 at 3:47 PM
Starting a new portrait: Ranger was the biggest Labrador I've ever seen, and the best fur-friend his 4 human brothers could ask for. He crossed the rainbow bridge last week, leaving a rhinoceros-sized hole in our hearts. ❤️🩹
The muscle memory in my hands is amazing to me when they remember a piano piece that my brain can't even recall the name of. Less so when I pick up cheese I dropped on the floor and my brain says "give it to your dog" and my hand automatically pops it in my mouth.
November 26, 2024 at 2:41 PM
The muscle memory in my hands is amazing to me when they remember a piano piece that my brain can't even recall the name of. Less so when I pick up cheese I dropped on the floor and my brain says "give it to your dog" and my hand automatically pops it in my mouth.