@phiwwup.bsky.social
My dog was so desperate to try the pretzels I was eating, so I said ok fine, and I gave him a few.
He proceeded to drink sooooooooooo much water
He proceeded to drink sooooooooooo much water
a man is making pretzels in a kitchen and says these pretzels are making me thirsty
ALT: a man is making pretzels in a kitchen and says these pretzels are making me thirsty
media.tenor.com
April 3, 2025 at 3:23 AM
My dog was so desperate to try the pretzels I was eating, so I said ok fine, and I gave him a few.
He proceeded to drink sooooooooooo much water
He proceeded to drink sooooooooooo much water
Me to a muffin:
"hewwoo pwincess 🤠"
"hewwoo pwincess 🤠"
March 13, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Me to a muffin:
"hewwoo pwincess 🤠"
"hewwoo pwincess 🤠"
I thought you were all about that yeet yeet... but it turns out, you're just about that skrrt skrrt 😔
March 13, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I thought you were all about that yeet yeet... but it turns out, you're just about that skrrt skrrt 😔
I just paid my dog the cheese tax and he had the audacity to drop the news that he just inacted a 25% cheese tarriff! Like, I gave him more cheese but only because he's a fluffy guy.
March 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I just paid my dog the cheese tax and he had the audacity to drop the news that he just inacted a 25% cheese tarriff! Like, I gave him more cheese but only because he's a fluffy guy.
Reposted
(Phone line trilling)
“Hello, this is the newspaper.”
“Yes, Newspaper, I’d like to write about being a loser.”
“Sure, let me connect you directly to the printer.”
“Hello, this is the newspaper.”
“Yes, Newspaper, I’d like to write about being a loser.”
“Sure, let me connect you directly to the printer.”
I want to host more parties, but I’m worried nobody will come
I want to host more parties, but I’m worried nobody will come
Throwing a party can be nerve-racking. How do we get over anxiety so we can get together?
www.theguardian.com
March 6, 2025 at 3:58 AM
(Phone line trilling)
“Hello, this is the newspaper.”
“Yes, Newspaper, I’d like to write about being a loser.”
“Sure, let me connect you directly to the printer.”
“Hello, this is the newspaper.”
“Yes, Newspaper, I’d like to write about being a loser.”
“Sure, let me connect you directly to the printer.”
Give me the severance procedure so I don't ever have to hear bad music again; my innie's entire existence would be imagine dragons playing. Lol what a bummer of an existence that would be
March 6, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Give me the severance procedure so I don't ever have to hear bad music again; my innie's entire existence would be imagine dragons playing. Lol what a bummer of an existence that would be
No joke my dog just yawned and said "awoooooooga" like an old timey car. lol beep beep back atcha buddy
February 28, 2025 at 12:28 AM
No joke my dog just yawned and said "awoooooooga" like an old timey car. lol beep beep back atcha buddy
Reposted
This is the @scottaukerman.bsky.social pull quote from this week’s ep, re: jizz
“As far as excretions go that’s one of the better ones”
“As far as excretions go that’s one of the better ones”
February 19, 2025 at 12:03 AM
This is the @scottaukerman.bsky.social pull quote from this week’s ep, re: jizz
“As far as excretions go that’s one of the better ones”
“As far as excretions go that’s one of the better ones”
If you listen to brown noise all night every night does it end up on your Spotify wrapped at the end of the year?
February 12, 2025 at 6:26 PM
If you listen to brown noise all night every night does it end up on your Spotify wrapped at the end of the year?
These P&GE ads where they're like "you should trust us, no safety issues here!" are so infuriating. PG&E needs to be taken over by the state. No utility should be privately owned.
February 4, 2025 at 3:56 PM
These P&GE ads where they're like "you should trust us, no safety issues here!" are so infuriating. PG&E needs to be taken over by the state. No utility should be privately owned.
I attended a meeting where the speaker had a background in ornithology and I am positively disappointed in myself for not asking him what the best bird species is. His answer would have been a barometer for his credibility.
Y'all know that the answer is a red tailed hawk AND IT AIN'T EVEN CLOSE.
Y'all know that the answer is a red tailed hawk AND IT AIN'T EVEN CLOSE.
January 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I attended a meeting where the speaker had a background in ornithology and I am positively disappointed in myself for not asking him what the best bird species is. His answer would have been a barometer for his credibility.
Y'all know that the answer is a red tailed hawk AND IT AIN'T EVEN CLOSE.
Y'all know that the answer is a red tailed hawk AND IT AIN'T EVEN CLOSE.
Why the hell is The Bear considered a comedy/musical?!?
January 6, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Why the hell is The Bear considered a comedy/musical?!?
When your mom texts you "sooo I did a thing" and it turns out that thing was place an order from an online pretzel retailer she saw on Facebook
December 11, 2024 at 4:20 AM
When your mom texts you "sooo I did a thing" and it turns out that thing was place an order from an online pretzel retailer she saw on Facebook