I agree, leveling can be as much of a distraction as it is a main goal in a game. RPing to me is about making choices that have consequences, and if you put a sort of sharp Yes or No distinction on games based on this rule, a lot of "RPGs" aren't very good RPGs at all.

Ultimately I've found that D&D stands out to its credit in this catalogue of games. It's a game that knows its a game within it's story and it plays out like a weird 4th wall-breaking simulation.

Having then played custom d100 systems, Zweihänder, Cthulhu and having looked at Burning Wheel, Mörk Borg and Praedor among others, I've gotten used to the feeling of playing characters who live in a much more dangerous and real world compared to that of D&D.

I find leveling to be a piece of world lore in D&D especially. The world is Vancian, functioning on magic instead of tech and the lust for power, what accumulating more of it causes, and what living with that power looks like, are a constant meta commentary in the background.

So the scope of "what you must do" increases with these things. The better you know yourself the better you can limit the things you want and need. And from then on, it's like Gandalf says "all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

I recommend checking out Barry Schwartz's book on this topic. It's called The Paradox of Choice. It illustrates well the problem of freedom of choice. To paraphrase him directly "while some choice is better than no choice, it doesn't necessarily follow that more choice is better than some choice."

The great magic of limiting the scope of your life, having less things you need and want, is that the brain adapts to it. Once this happens, the dopamine circuitry adapts too and you start gaining pleasure from these simple things. And you know what builds habits? Enjoying the things you do.

For people who are still struggling with the tutorial zone of life, limiting the things you want and need is crucial. Instead of establishing a purpose for your life of "becoming an engineer" you need to think smaller. Decrease the scope. "My purpose for today is taking out the trash."

You don't adopt your best ideal self through subscribing to ideals and living up to them - you rise to the challenges of the present. And it happens from the ground up, through careful moderation of focus and values.

If you are unable to control the basics, you can't move to the next level.

This is all an extremely long-winded way of saying that one needs to increase their ability to focus (yes, even if you have ADHD) and prioritize focusing on your internal states of mind and body.

Give yourself moments during the day when you do literally nothing and just focus on the internal.

Things are not *quite* as simple as this because not all the systems of the body and brain fall under your awareness.

Awareness/focus -> what's deemed "important" by the brain -> strengthens brain circuitry needed for said things -> filtering of stimuli based on the strongest circuitry

Meaning if you meditate you'll start seeing your focus on things as literally meaning your appreciation for those things. Control of your mind, body and ultimately your life is about focus.

Focus dictates reality. What you focus on exists, and everything else gets ignored.

To focus on nice-to-haves you need to get need-to-haves in order.

The imbalance of needs is due to mainly two things - 1. lack of appreciation for the needs and 2. lack of focus on the body's messaging of the needs. And if you meditate, the second reason matters more - first is just a side-effect.

You need to get the body running better first. The mind-body link is strong - so strong that I'd argue the distinction between the two is merely platonic - in reality there is only oneness with complex chains of cause and effect - no "two-ness".

This introduces another layer of complexity here.

My understanding from second-hand, out-of-my-arse conclusions on therapy and clinical psychiatry is that even with really difficult life problems the focus for the therapy is improving the basic needs first. This includes more or less: sleep, diet, fitness and social needs.

The problem is that people living in the modern world have excessive psychological load - being neuro-atypical is just the cherry on top of this vexing psychological cake.

You can't focus on the habit method if you have trouble just getting out of bed and surviving your job.

I do this all the time, both to build good habits and deconstruct bad ones.

It works brilliantly because starting is the hardest part and it's the part that gives you the most psychological stress - which is at the crux of why change is hard. Attitude is everything.