My partner (or his mother) confirmed our attendance at his cousin's birthday party before telling me about it. I struggle to know the difference between the reasonable demands of coupledom and thoughtless impositions. Because, being withdrawn and self-involved, they all feel like impositions to me.

I can highly recommend playing The Traitors game with elderly relatives.

Mum: What button do I push if I'm a faithful?

Narrator: The traitor has murdered... Phil!
Me: I'm already dead.

Me: *tries to murder Jon twice*
Dad: I think the traitor is... Jon!
Me: What? Really? Yay!

After a week with my elderly parents, I vow to die the way I lived: enthusiastically learning things with no practical value. Case in point: here's that sentiment in my best Swedish. Jag har besökt mina föräldrar och jag vill dö precis som jag har levt: jag vill lär mig saker utan praktiskt värde.

On the verge of a new year, things seem more possible than they frankly ought to (thin? successful? muscular? more intelligent? Yes, please!). But I'll enjoy the giddy optimism while it lasts.

I'm so full of fat/sugar that my brain is taking desperate measures. YouTube showed me a Shawn Mendes video (mostly because I asked it to) and my brain wanted to convince me that, with some changes, I could look like that (despite him being 27, a model, and seldom more than 50m from gym equipment).