Phil Yastockings 🎄🎅 :tinoflag:
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phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Phil Yastockings 🎄🎅 :tinoflag:
@phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
110 followers 29 following 780 posts
Thoughts entirely my own.

Nō te tioka o Sussex Downs i Ingarangi ngā kōiwi o ōku tīpuna.
I tupu ake ahau ki ngā tahatika o Ouse awa.
Nō Ingarangi ahau […]

🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://mastodon.philtanner.com/@Phil_Tanner, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
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phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Whoop whoop! My #secretsantaaonz outbound present is away!
My "Gift Sent, Dec 2025" badge from the app, showing the elves in a hot air balloon.
December 5, 2025 at 11:53 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
I must be doing something right in my various attempts to stop Google tracking me and my interests, because this news alert is so far outside my interest zone it's complete gibberish to me.

I assume it's sport related somehow? But no idea on the sport, the country, or even the terms used? 🤷‍♂️
Screenshot of a Google News alert on my phone from 09:39 this morning, reading: "The Roar Brainless Bazball replaced with clever tactics as Root breaks century drought at long last despite Starc's sixpack"
December 4, 2025 at 8:50 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
This is a tough one. I usually sign it in a way that's pretty invisible.

I've buried my handle in binary code as a background, as the first letter of each flower around the edge, as an ambigram, all spoets...

Best of both worlds 😉
A cartoon style TRex, carrying a half eaten Star Wars stormtrooper in it's mouth. It's standing in front of a background of binary digits, a bit like a Matrix falling letters montage A painting of the phrase "I like pretty things and the word Fuck" in highly ornate calligraphic style, surrounded by a load of flowers (a red rose with an @ sign in the petals, then Pōhutukawa, Hibiscus, Iris, Lily, Tulip, Agapanthus, Narcissus, <something I forgot 🤣), Eidleweiss, <something else i forgot starting with R>) Photo of a Tarot card (the Ace of Cups) which has a profile image of Terry Pratchett as the image, along with the signatures of him, Paul Kidby, and another famous Pratchett illustrator, and a banner with the text "#secretsanta" on it. If you turn it upside down, it instead reads "philtanner"... if you squint at it the right way
December 3, 2025 at 5:43 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
When you open up a cookie container and it actually has cookies in it instead of sewing material.

A blessing from the Lord!

#secretsantaaonz
Screenshot from Monty Python's film "The Holy Grail", with John Cleese calling out "A blessing from the Lord!"
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
1st-26th Dec
Festive.

27th Dec- 31st Dec
Confused,
Full of cheese,
Unsure of the day
of week.

January etc
Fat.

#secretsantaaonz
Cartoon stick figures for each date range. Dec one wearing a Santa hat. Standard "stickman" drawing. Middle figure holding a block of cheese, no longer wearing hat. Final figure now basically an oval with tiny nubs for hands and feet
November 25, 2025 at 6:11 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Me before & after Christmas

#secretsantaaonz
November 24, 2025 at 5:23 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
When your gingerbread fails...
Add dinosaur

#secretsantaaonz
Photograph of a gingerbread house that's collapsed and cracked and looking sorry for itself. A toy TRex has been added in one corner, and a broken off piece of gingerbread is in its mouth, making a scene reminiscent of something from Godzilla
November 24, 2025 at 5:05 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
I KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING FOR CHISTMAS...

FAT...
I'M GETTING FAT.

#secretsantaaonz
Red background, with white text reading the same as the Toot
November 22, 2025 at 9:18 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
BUT DAD, ALL THE OTHER KIDS LEAVE OUT MILK AND COOKIES FOR HIM.

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE SON I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.

#secretsantaaonz
A photograph of a pepperoni pizza with a set of four half-pint glasses of different beers on a sampling paddle.
November 21, 2025 at 6:50 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Me: I will do anything to not gain weight this holiday season.

Friend: limit your food intake, don't drink alcohol, and exercise.

Me: No, not like that.

#secretsantaaonz
A heavily cropped screenshot, with no attribution, of the text in the Toot
November 20, 2025 at 6:05 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
This is Sgt. Al Powell. He was integral in stopping a terrorist attack in Los Angeles at Nakatomi Plaza on Christmas in 1988.

How many of you will share to honor his heroism?

#secretsantaaonz
A meme showing a photograph of the cop in the Die Hard film, with the Toot text underneath
November 20, 2025 at 4:17 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
@SimonCHulse @larissacomments.bsky.social @witchnwords.bsky.social if you've followed all the required steps (see image), you should get a DM feom Santa with your match details, yes
November 19, 2025 at 6:54 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
@SimonCHulse @SecretSantaNZ

Looks like tomorrow
November 19, 2025 at 7:36 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Sub-thread kick off number 1... hints.

Pets... I'm a cat person, not a dog person. That said, my cat has passed on, so I now steal cuddles with my wife's cat.

I also live with her two dogs (Bert, mini Schnauzer, and Leuy, a psychotic Lowchen).

Also have a couple of tropical marine fish.
Secret Santa "Getting to know ya" question, "Do you have any pets?" Lando cuddling my arm while he sleeps Leuy looking dubious, dressed in Santa elf gear Bert, looking pitifully at the camera
November 19, 2025 at 6:24 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
Don't forget to leave cigarettes, shoes and a Twinkie in the ductwork for John McClain on Christmas Eve

#secretsantaaonz
A photograph of someone taking down (or putting back?) a vent grill from the ceiling
November 18, 2025 at 7:26 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
LET'S ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO RECOGNIZE THE TRUE HEROES OF THE SEASON...

ELASTIC WAISTBANDS.
Photograph of a black letter peg-board with sprigs of pine around it. White letters spell out the message in the Toot
November 18, 2025 at 2:02 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
After the Little Drummer Boy. Mary decided it was enough. Which is why we never hear about the Little Bagpipe and Accordion boys.

#secretsantaaonz
Cartoon scene of a woman holding a swaddle baby in one hand, her other out in front of her in a palm outwards "stop" pose, towards two young boys, one holding an accordion, the other some bag pipes. There's a single bright star just visible through the open doorway, and bundles of hay are scattered around the scene. Underneath is the text "After the Little Drummer Boy. Mary decided it was enough. Which is why we never hear about the Little Bagpipe and Accordion boys."
November 16, 2025 at 7:02 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
THE PHYSICAL EXERTION TO
PLAY THIS INSTRUMENT IS
IS BEYOND DESCRIPTION!

"THE LITTLE DRAMA BOY"

(c)2018 Mark Parisi
Dist by Andrews McMeel Synd.

otmCartoon@gmail com

offthemark.com
by Mark Parisi

#secretsantaaonz
Cartoon by Mark Parisi. There's a boy centre stage. Behind him is a dark night sky with a singular bright star among the others. The sky is framed on each side by large wooden doors. In the foreground we see the backs of two figures, on the left - a grumpy looking man with a large white beard in brown robes stood behind a sheep, on the right a blue robed person with a head dress, standing in front of a large wooden box filled with material. The boy is holding a drumstick in each hand, and one arm is up over his forehead as he's looking upwards and calling out "THE PHYSICAL EXERTION TO PLAY THIS INSTRUMENT IS... IS BEYOND DESCRIPTION!" The cartoon is titled "THE LITTLE DRAMA BOY"
November 15, 2025 at 8:36 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
"Nice iron. Your wife will love it. While I wrap it, you might want to go over to sporting goods and pick out a helmet. "

⦾Mike Baldwin/ Cornered

#secretsantaaonz
Cartoon from Mike Baldwin. Scene is a man standing at a gift wrapping station, being served by a woman. On the station is a box with a picture of an iron.
November 14, 2025 at 6:02 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
If I had to describe my life in a movie scene it'd be the part in Elf when he gets hit by a taxi and then thanks them

#secretsantaaonz
Screenshot of a post (no date, attribution, or SM icons remain) reading: "If I had to describe my life in a movie scene it'd be the part in Elf when he gets hit by a taxi and then thanks them"
November 13, 2025 at 6:02 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
My god! It's full of ads!
Scene from Futurama, riffing on the final line from 2001 A Space Odyssey (my god! It's full of stars!) where Bender says "Behold... the Internet" as the group stands on a ledge overlooking a green field full of billboards, and Fry replies "My god! It's full of ads!"
November 12, 2025 at 9:11 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
We always get each other ironic gifts, but my brother killed it this year.

#secretsantaaonz
Photograph of a small zip-lock "baggie", with three AAA batteries and a piece of paper inside. Printed on the paper is the text "Gift not included". The image is captioned "We always get each other ironic gifts, but my brother killed it this year."
November 12, 2025 at 6:01 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
COMET!

The Oatmeal
http://theoatmeal.com

#secretsantaaonz
4 panel comic from The Oatmeal. The scene is a stand up comedy night, filled with dinosaurs. There's a T-Rex holding the microphone, and a group of bored looking triceratops, stegasaurus, and pterosaurs* at a table. Panel 1: TRex holding the mic asking "What is a dinosaur's least favourite reindeer?" Panel 2: TRex excitedly saying "COMET!" Panel 3: The audience member dinosaurs looking very unimpressed and bored. They're considering their life choices that led them here. Panel 4: a Zoom in on the face of the TRex, expectantly waiting for the laughs to come... *don't shout at me about how they're not dinosaurs. I know.
November 12, 2025 at 3:58 AM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
A GINGERBREAD MAN SITS INSIDE A GINGERBREAD HOUSE

IS THE HOUSE MADE OF FLESH?

OR IS HE MADE OF HOUSE?

HE SCREAMS

FOR HE DOES NOT KNOW

Cyanide and Happiness

#secretsantaaonz
4 panel comic. Clockwise from top left: 1. A GINGERBREAD MAN SITS INSIDE A GINGERBREAD HOUSE The picture shows a gingerbread house. 2. IS THE HOUSE MADE OF FLESH? Picture shows a close up of a window, through which you can just make out a gingerbread man inside. 3. OR IS HE MADE OF HOUSE? The gingerbread man is sat at a gingerbread table, facing away from us 4. HE SCREAMS View of the front of the gingerbread man, his facial expression is like Munch's Scream. At the bottom of the panel it reads: FOR HE DOES NOT KNOW Underneath the comic reads: Cyanide and Happiness Explosm.net
November 10, 2025 at 5:26 PM
phil-tanner.mastodon.philtanner.com.ap.brid.gy
THE STAGES OF
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

1. PLENTY OF TIME
2.OH NO

#secretsantaaonz
A black rectangular peg board, with white capital letters spelling out the message: THE STAGES OF CHRISTMAS SHOPPING 1. PLENTY OF TIME 2. OH NO The board is surrounded by fairy lights and pine branches
November 9, 2025 at 5:57 PM