The changes that come with growing up and realizing people who you thought were for you really don’t hurt any less just because “it’s a part of life” it actually hurts more because somewhere deep down you expected them to be around forever.

A lot of days I feel like my back is against the wall and I have no one to confide in. No one to help me. No one to bring me comfort. It just makes me cry sometimes.

It bothers me that people take me for granted as a person and a friend because I know for a fact that I am good to them through and through. It just really breaks my heart being treated so poorly by people who are supposed to be in my circle.

I also have a childhood friend with serious anger issues who thinks they can say anything to me and we still be ok. Like what the fuck is wrong with the people in my life right now?!

Almost a year ago I had friend (now former) who cut me off because she thought I was in cahoots with some random people who I don’t know who were apparently spying on her. Like she wrote SEVERAL whole ass blog entries about it all the while I hadn’t even been in contact with her. I had no clue.

And it really sucks because the people I’m referring to are people who I call my friends. People who are family. People who I have known for years. People who I have built intimate relationships with. Or at least I thought.

And you know sometimes I do chalk it up to us growing older and having more on our plate which I get. Sometimes we don’t have the energy or time to communicate as quickly as we did in our yesteryears but sometimes it’s simply not that. Sometimes people really just don’t fuck with you.

I think they forget that they’re married sometimes.

In Birmingham?

Their last names are “Phony” in this tennis tournament. I’m fucking dead. 🤣