Feeling weirdly optimistic about the game tonight. Colby couldn't possibly start, could he? #Pompey

Is the signature optional? #fpl

Pretty sure I wear my socks higher to the office than Chakvetadze does playing football #EFL #PLYWAT

Phenomenal double-barrels on University Challenge today.

Favourite current Portsmouth player, favourite England memory, player I was most like (when I could run) and favourite former Portsmouth player.

Auditions for the feline remake of the human centipede aren't going well.

The last thing I tweeted was about Chamillionaire in 2020. I thoroughly intend to pick up where I left off.