thank you. 💜 Love is keeping me going

The moon is falling in three days and I don't know the song of time

18 years is a lot. We have given her a good life, and we are letting her go before she really loses quality of life beyond just being old. I know this. I understand this. I'm grateful for this.

What do I do without her though?

Boog was my first real pet. My baby. My best friend. As I grew away from my trauma and became a "real" person she was there growing with me.

Oobie was always a borrowed time baby. The fact that we found him after he was gone for 2 years just meant every goddamn second was bonus. I had already grieved him so much for so long. I still grieved when we had to let him go, but the build up wasn't the same as this.

with the exception of Oobie, all the other pets we've sent to rest have been abrupt due to medical emergencies. I just had to deal with it on the spot and grieve from there.

when no one really reaches out it's hard not to feel this way

maybe it's not better, just easier

eat it

sorry for all the angst i am spiraling hard i am not doing well

i promise tomorrow i'll aat least take my meds

trying to remember if our last check in was before or after Grandmom died. What is time

i didn't even bother to take them this time because he'd just have to trash them anyway

just... 400 different types of not okay and i can't deal with it anymore i give up