TO NOTE: I know parenting is INSANELY difficult, and that they almost certainly want what's best for me.. I just think that might be some of what caused me to be this way 😓

Combine this with my social inexperience (awkward Autism child yayy), and my constant stress, anxiety & not knowing what others think of me, these issues add up to an insecure mess of anxiety who needs to make sure she's not doing shit wrong, isn't being a burden, & implodes in on herself from this.

Another thing, I struggle with managing time well, and remembering shit. But often, when they want smth done, they're very noticeably frustrated when reminding me. Usually negative reinforcement, rarely positive.

Makes me feel like I'm a burden.

Maybe it's because they often swoop in to do shit for me...? I'm not efficient or good at a lot of stuff, and they just default to doing shit for me when it isn't moving along well.

But I need that practice to get good. And I can tell that it's inconvenient for them. And it makes me feel terrible.