My tweets in the 2010s: www.instagram.com/reel/DIRpdcI...

I'm like "ah it's Christmas, it's fine my daughter has eaten nothing but a reindeer biscuit and a piece of shortbread today" as though this isn't completely standard Saturday behaviour.

When the person doing Christmas dinner is a sous chef

My brother, casually after my daughter has run around laughing maniacally for 3 hours straight: "so does she still take naps in the daytime?..."

Which is better, The Vigil series 1 or Das Boot?

I'm currently listening to the BBC dramatisation of LOTR Return of The King and I have to say I know exactly how Frodo feels as I had to walk 40 minutes to the train station today with a big backpack full of snacks to carry as my burden.

I'm doing this blood sugar tracking thing, and I have to eat certain foods to see what happens to my blood sugar, and tomorrow I have been challenged to eat a single bagel with 3 TABLESPOONS of butter, and I have never accepted a challenge so willingly in my entire life. For science!

Me getting off my bike when I arrived at the office this morning

Unexpected side effect of parenthood: I now instinctively avoid hand dryers as I don't want to scare anyone

I had to frog 33 rows of knitting this evening and start again. Truly a humbling experience.

I panicked when my new D&D character was asked what town she's from and said "Arendelle". And the last one shot character I made was an Ice Witch. It's becoming very obvious that all I do is play D&D and watch Frozen 💀

Jimmy Wales: "Wikipedia is NOT for sale"
Me: "I literally didn't say anything about trying to buy it!!!"

The spider that lives on my lamp is staring at me all embarrassed on my behalf while I clamber all over my furniture trying to destroy mosquitoes, but I can't help but notice that her hunting technique has so far had absolutely no success since she moved in either.

Cool girls after they get married: "yea I wake up 15 minutes before my husband every day to give me time to put on my sunglasses before he wakes up"

I have a big nerve-wracking talk on stage coming up and I'm not sure if it's self-care or self-sabotage to let myself live on ramen until it's finished.

Trying to fall asleep, I suddenly became worried that at some point I might lose my hearing of higher frequencies (due to age) to a level where I can't hear mosquitoes. I've done some research and this apparently doesn't happen until your 90s, so I can sleep soundly tonight.