Whenever I use a term from my youth--like "wasn't that a hoot" to mean, "wasn't that funny"--I feel I have to apologize to my grandkids for being out of date, for using a phrase that's totally dated. But now I find out that the slang we bandied about when we were in our high school and college is coming back, baby.

Retirement looms for many of us as a signifier of our status as a mature person with wisdom to share and time to spare. Or it's a tantalizing adventure we look forward to. But if we give up our day jobs and our kids need financial help--to, say, buy a house, pay for groceries or cover child care costs--does the Bank of Mom and Dad have the wherewithal to help?

There are challenges to being a parent of adult children: They may not look or behave as we might want them to; our relationships can get testy; they may keep us out of the loop of their daily life and decisions. And yet there's one constant we have: We love our children and want to keep them safe. That struck me with force this week as I couldn't stop thinking about the pain Alex Pretti's parents are experiencing, to see the videos of their 37-year-old son--an ICU nurse who made a positive difference in his patient's lives--murdered on city streets by government troops.

I had coffee yesterday with one of the caregivers who had taken care of my husband when he was ill. When I asked N, who migrated here some 20 years ago from Ethiopia, how full her work schedule was, she told me one client had cut back her hours from three 12-hour shifts to three 10-hour shifts; another had reduced her work time from five mornings a week to three.

If there's one complaint that rears its head every post-holiday season it's this: "Where's my Thank You?" We've been generous to our grandkids--or grown kids--but there's not a peep out of them about their appreciation for a carefully chosen cable-knit sweater or the always-useful cash (by check or Zelle or some other modern monetary form). It's enough to make some of us feel we don't want to give again.

New Years Resolutions--Intentions or Wish List--are still staring at us from our champagne glasses or to-do lists. Experts who follow resolution trends--yes, there are people who do that--report that the top intentional topics are eating less (or better), exercizing more (or more effectively) and drinking less (or not at all). On a December Freakonomics podcast, host Stephen Dubner mused with Katy Milkman, a behvavioral scientist, about how much store we put in our New Years promises to change.

With all the talk of toxic family gatherings and the politcal frights of the past year and for the coming one, let's step out to revel in the warmth of the lights from Christmas trees, Hanukkah menorahs and Kwanzaa candles the fun of the oversized wreaths, chubby Santas and striped candy canes that adorn our neighbors' doors the brisk beauty of this time of year.

All families have their holiday traditions. For those of us who plan a full family get-together over an extravagant holiday feast, there may be a surprise in store when our grown kids head home. They may bring a new love interest, someone who may be a possible new partner in their life. Or they may use the family setting to announce a commitment to someone we've already met.

As we age into our more mature years, many of us find our kids "parenting" us on the little things: telling us what to do about a checking account, giving us advice on how to dress for the weather or sharing the latest on what we should be eating for breakfast. Some of it's helpful, even delightful; some of it isn't.

I must have been prescient when I wrote my previous post about people who didn't want to be with family on Thanksgiving. That wasn't me, of course. I was looking forward to traveling to my son's house and being with my son, daughter, their spouses and my grandchildren. Grandpups, too. I was in fine fettle when I spun out a "what if" scenario of not being able to join them.