Timothy Bethel
@pendejo-cave.bsky.social
5’5 with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise
It should be illegal to break the law. So sick of this.
December 19, 2024 at 1:37 PM
It should be illegal to break the law. So sick of this.
Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn’t the monster.
Wisdom is knowing that The Rizzler isn’t related to the Costco guys and is just some kid they know.
Wisdom is knowing that The Rizzler isn’t related to the Costco guys and is just some kid they know.
December 18, 2024 at 9:08 PM
Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn’t the monster.
Wisdom is knowing that The Rizzler isn’t related to the Costco guys and is just some kid they know.
Wisdom is knowing that The Rizzler isn’t related to the Costco guys and is just some kid they know.
Just affirmed my wife’s gender by making sure she does more work around the house than me while also making less money and having a harder job
December 17, 2024 at 1:00 AM
Just affirmed my wife’s gender by making sure she does more work around the house than me while also making less money and having a harder job
The percs of being a wallflower.
December 16, 2024 at 2:25 AM
The percs of being a wallflower.
Israel just took the Hawthorne Heights
December 15, 2024 at 11:47 PM
Israel just took the Hawthorne Heights
I’m back on my bullshit doing sacred geometry and staring at black light posters again.
December 15, 2024 at 8:15 PM
I’m back on my bullshit doing sacred geometry and staring at black light posters again.
“You win the internet today, good sir! Take my upvote, and my axe!” I say before I detonate the 80 lbs of C4 I have strapped to my body in the middle of the Reddit meetup.
December 13, 2024 at 8:35 PM
“You win the internet today, good sir! Take my upvote, and my axe!” I say before I detonate the 80 lbs of C4 I have strapped to my body in the middle of the Reddit meetup.
Armie Hammer should have been in Glad He Ate Her Too
December 11, 2024 at 1:16 PM
Armie Hammer should have been in Glad He Ate Her Too
“I yield my time.”
Confused waiter: “so you’ll have the chicken and Brussels sprouts?”
Me, more indignantly, “I said I yield my time.”
Confused waiter: “so you’ll have the chicken and Brussels sprouts?”
Me, more indignantly, “I said I yield my time.”
December 10, 2024 at 7:46 PM
“I yield my time.”
Confused waiter: “so you’ll have the chicken and Brussels sprouts?”
Me, more indignantly, “I said I yield my time.”
Confused waiter: “so you’ll have the chicken and Brussels sprouts?”
Me, more indignantly, “I said I yield my time.”
“What is math, but poetry with numbers?” - guy with a pony tail and awful teeth.
December 10, 2024 at 3:56 AM
“What is math, but poetry with numbers?” - guy with a pony tail and awful teeth.
BREAKING: Syrians depose Assad after he loses all of nation’s money in Hawk Tuah coin.
December 8, 2024 at 5:42 PM
BREAKING: Syrians depose Assad after he loses all of nation’s money in Hawk Tuah coin.
People who use double-ended dildos are just trying to make ends meet.
December 7, 2024 at 11:50 PM
People who use double-ended dildos are just trying to make ends meet.
What if we made fentanyl legal but only for illegal immigrants
December 7, 2024 at 2:16 AM
What if we made fentanyl legal but only for illegal immigrants
I wish my dad had Spotify wrapped his dick and never conceived me
December 7, 2024 at 12:18 AM
I wish my dad had Spotify wrapped his dick and never conceived me
First we have Black Friday.
Then we had Cyber Monday.
…I guess that makes today “Time to Check Your Bank Account” Tuesday 🤪🥴😏😎
Then we had Cyber Monday.
…I guess that makes today “Time to Check Your Bank Account” Tuesday 🤪🥴😏😎
December 3, 2024 at 12:30 PM
First we have Black Friday.
Then we had Cyber Monday.
…I guess that makes today “Time to Check Your Bank Account” Tuesday 🤪🥴😏😎
Then we had Cyber Monday.
…I guess that makes today “Time to Check Your Bank Account” Tuesday 🤪🥴😏😎
I wish Biden would have pardoned my French.
December 3, 2024 at 11:33 AM
I wish Biden would have pardoned my French.
I saw mommy daggering Jamaican Santa Claus.
December 1, 2024 at 9:02 PM
I saw mommy daggering Jamaican Santa Claus.
Jamaican Santa making his bomboclat or nice list.
December 1, 2024 at 8:28 PM
Jamaican Santa making his bomboclat or nice list.
Please don’t call me “white” anymore, you may now refer to me as cauxasion.
December 1, 2024 at 3:44 PM
Please don’t call me “white” anymore, you may now refer to me as cauxasion.
*me: getting into the wrong four door, mid-sized, Ford SUV that I called for my Uber*
Driver: “This is not the Flex you think it is”
Driver: “This is not the Flex you think it is”
November 30, 2024 at 4:46 PM
*me: getting into the wrong four door, mid-sized, Ford SUV that I called for my Uber*
Driver: “This is not the Flex you think it is”
Driver: “This is not the Flex you think it is”
“I have no mouth, and I must scream. Who am I?”
November 29, 2024 at 8:54 PM
“I have no mouth, and I must scream. Who am I?”
Thankful for dank atheist memes to show my parents and cousins today
November 28, 2024 at 6:11 PM
Thankful for dank atheist memes to show my parents and cousins today
Why did they call it Moana 2 and not “Mo’ Moana”?
November 28, 2024 at 11:22 AM
Why did they call it Moana 2 and not “Mo’ Moana”?
Decided to cut out the middle man and have sex with my wife myself.
November 27, 2024 at 7:25 PM
Decided to cut out the middle man and have sex with my wife myself.