i honestly don't think there is any reason to be upset at losing x power. if you believe and trust yourself to get back the power you lost, then there's nothing to worry about. and as long as you're doing your best, you're doing great no matter what your power is.

Painbrush is the dumbest fucking weapon. You just look in a direction and get a kill. No skill required. If you play painbrush, honestly just go fucking jump off a bridge or cliff.