it's always chalked up to anxiety even tho i don't feel anxious and i'm not thinking abt anything that makes me anxious and it doesn't correlate with events that make me anxious and i've been treated for excess anxiety and it's not a problem anymore but somehow it's still anxiety?

the most egregious is when their advice just boils down to "try to sleep". "just lay down and clear your mind!" do you think i try to sleep by standing in the middle of my room and deliberating everything that makes me anxious. fuck off

and everyone i talk to abt it gives me the same advice and 99% of the time its something i'm already doing. "don't use your phone before bed" holy shit you're a fucking genius no one's ever thought of that one before

and there's just literally nothing i can do! i've been laying in bed completely still for hours, i took extra melatonin, i'm so tired but whenever i start to fall asleep i suddenly become wide awake for a second only to immediately go back to being super tired i'm so frustrated

and it's not like i'm not tired, i'm SO tired i've been exhausted all day struggling to focus in classes, and now i'm gonna be exhausted all of tomorrow for literally no reason besides my body just deciding not to work the way it's supposed to

no caffeine, specific meal times, rigid night routine, no naps, sleeping around the same time every night and waking up around the same time every morning, magnesium and melatonin supplements, but i just can't sleep bc my brain said no tonight!!!!!!!

like someone started hitting on me out of nowhere and i fr didn't know what to say bc they know me well enough to know i'm single & into all genders......... what do i do here

i have no idea what he's worried about "planning" because again i will not be staying with him and he is not going to help at all with everything i need to do before i leave. like the most he's doing is paying for a plane ticket, if that, but he still needs to hassle me constantly because...??

like i would love to know how i'm simultaneously an amazing student AND incredibly lazy and spoiled and never do any schoolwork ever. do you think my grades are vibe-based?

i'm an open book! unfortunately, that book is a brand-new journal

don't get me wrong i think it's very sweet and i'll never complain abt a compliment but it does always come with a bit of amusement (not offense or annoyance or anything bad!!!) bc i know they're only using that word specifically to try extra hard to be "affirming" 😭

idk ppl call cis men pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, etc. so it doesn't feel like misgendering to me to be called those things- it feels more accurate than handsome bc i'm not particularly masculine-looking!

he's just insanely rude and creepy to everyone but does two grand gestures for carol and simon and they both instantly love him even though he remains a complete asshole otherwise 😭 no wonder we all fall for lovebombing when this slop is considered peak romance omg

like yeah he does one MAJOR nice thing for her and her son but it comes across as incredibly manipulative and creepy because in every single other scene he's harassing her? and she talks about how manipulative and creepy it is but just gets over it for again no reason?

but if ur wondering it's been almost 3 years!! 🥳

feels like it's been a lot longer but tbf i don't think about it at all most days so it's not like it's been a struggle to get here