Ashlyn
@pazifer.bsky.social
If you laugh at my jokes we are now close friends. Please mind the dust while i migrate from the former bird app.
I got beef with Taco Bell
I specifically asked for beans
I specifically asked for beans
December 2, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I got beef with Taco Bell
I specifically asked for beans
I specifically asked for beans
Thanksgiving is over, back to my regular diet of nuts, seeds, and yogurt chips
November 28, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Thanksgiving is over, back to my regular diet of nuts, seeds, and yogurt chips
Rolling out of work to clock into bed 🫠
November 25, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Rolling out of work to clock into bed 🫠
my body is a gated community and the cold is a prospective visitor I have not given prior authorization
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 PM
my body is a gated community and the cold is a prospective visitor I have not given prior authorization
I was trying to say noise ordinance and it came out nerse oidinance
October 17, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I was trying to say noise ordinance and it came out nerse oidinance
My mom recognized early on I was an Acts of Service girlie. She sure did need a lot of apple cores for "work" when I was growing up and man I was thrilled to provide them
October 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
My mom recognized early on I was an Acts of Service girlie. She sure did need a lot of apple cores for "work" when I was growing up and man I was thrilled to provide them
I get more warm fuzzies when I encounter the year of my first car than my own birth year
October 8, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I get more warm fuzzies when I encounter the year of my first car than my own birth year
Birds are literally irl pokemon
October 6, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Birds are literally irl pokemon
My dog must think he's the BEST guard dog. Trucks come to the house all the time, he barks and solely for that reason the truck people drop what's in their hands. Then they drive away, he did it
September 26, 2025 at 9:10 PM
My dog must think he's the BEST guard dog. Trucks come to the house all the time, he barks and solely for that reason the truck people drop what's in their hands. Then they drive away, he did it
dog owners united against the airing of the Ring doorbell sound
September 19, 2025 at 3:17 AM
dog owners united against the airing of the Ring doorbell sound
Criminalize airing the Ring doorbell sound on TV my dog is losing his mind rn 😭😭
September 4, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Criminalize airing the Ring doorbell sound on TV my dog is losing his mind rn 😭😭
The irony of feeling like I've sinned when I purchase from chick fil a as a liberal agnostic
September 2, 2025 at 3:39 PM
The irony of feeling like I've sinned when I purchase from chick fil a as a liberal agnostic
9 outta 10 times I'll pass on banana pudding in a dessert menu. But if it says naner puddin????? 1000% smash
August 2, 2025 at 6:01 AM
9 outta 10 times I'll pass on banana pudding in a dessert menu. But if it says naner puddin????? 1000% smash
It's not hard to match someone's freak. u just gotta tune into the right freakquency
July 31, 2025 at 5:14 AM
It's not hard to match someone's freak. u just gotta tune into the right freakquency
My dentist always gives me the pink toothbrush???
July 31, 2025 at 5:12 AM
My dentist always gives me the pink toothbrush???
caught a 666CP exeggcute in Pokemon go, I named him Deviled Eggs
July 30, 2025 at 11:29 PM
caught a 666CP exeggcute in Pokemon go, I named him Deviled Eggs
What's the difference between a candy store and an ABC store?
You can lick a lollipop but you can't liqa sto
You can lick a lollipop but you can't liqa sto
July 30, 2025 at 11:28 PM
What's the difference between a candy store and an ABC store?
You can lick a lollipop but you can't liqa sto
You can lick a lollipop but you can't liqa sto
I have fallen into the Depop of no return
July 30, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I have fallen into the Depop of no return
Has anyone ever installed an AC unit in not completely abhorrent conditions
July 30, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Has anyone ever installed an AC unit in not completely abhorrent conditions
How did ppl set their clocks before the Internet
July 28, 2025 at 11:57 PM
How did ppl set their clocks before the Internet
I got all these jokes and I need somewhere safe to put them
April 19, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I got all these jokes and I need somewhere safe to put them