Paul Waxman
@paulmwaxman.bsky.social
Musician/actor/improviser Parodist/Satirist/poet
Pro/Am Dumbass
Broken Toy
Respect all gender IDs
Respect SW
Punch Nazis
🚫 crypto
🚫Illuminati
Honest DM's ok but
You don't want to date me any more than I want to pay to watch you paw at yourself lazily
Pro/Am Dumbass
Broken Toy
Respect all gender IDs
Respect SW
Punch Nazis
🚫 crypto
🚫Illuminati
Honest DM's ok but
You don't want to date me any more than I want to pay to watch you paw at yourself lazily
Pinned
Paul Waxman
@paulmwaxman.bsky.social
· Apr 4
Attend the tale of Creepy Don.
A figurehead for a Nazi con.
Destroyed good ladies and gentlemen, whose stool was more worthy of respect than him.
Pegged by apartheids broken knob, was Creepy Don. The orange moron of West Palm.
He paved the roses not the roads.
1/2
A figurehead for a Nazi con.
Destroyed good ladies and gentlemen, whose stool was more worthy of respect than him.
Pegged by apartheids broken knob, was Creepy Don. The orange moron of West Palm.
He paved the roses not the roads.
1/2
I honestly never thought I'd live long enough to utter a phrase like, "I'm still completely numb around the graft site."
November 16, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I honestly never thought I'd live long enough to utter a phrase like, "I'm still completely numb around the graft site."
Double bypass yesterday. Oy what a week
November 11, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Double bypass yesterday. Oy what a week
November 11, 2025 at 9:36 AM
Come on y'all. It's not that the GOP and Christian Nationalists don't think food and health care are human rights. They're not unfeeling uncaring monsters. They just don't think of us as human. That's all.
November 8, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Come on y'all. It's not that the GOP and Christian Nationalists don't think food and health care are human rights. They're not unfeeling uncaring monsters. They just don't think of us as human. That's all.
In winter, when the ice takes over and the plows don't run, people everywhere even those in danger from the same ice, grab shovels, salt, garden torches etc... and help their neighbors clear the ice...
Get you a...let's say shovel
Winter is coming assholes!!!
IYKYN
#FuckICE
Get you a...let's say shovel
Winter is coming assholes!!!
IYKYN
#FuckICE
November 8, 2025 at 4:03 AM
In winter, when the ice takes over and the plows don't run, people everywhere even those in danger from the same ice, grab shovels, salt, garden torches etc... and help their neighbors clear the ice...
Get you a...let's say shovel
Winter is coming assholes!!!
IYKYN
#FuckICE
Get you a...let's say shovel
Winter is coming assholes!!!
IYKYN
#FuckICE
Reposted by Paul Waxman
I #JustLearned that it's Twiki to wock a whyme to wock a whyme that's whight on time.
November 8, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I #JustLearned that it's Twiki to wock a whyme to wock a whyme that's whight on time.
#StopShoutingAndStart picking up your damn fingers before the dog eats them...again!!!
Jeezus Lefty, what are we gonna call you now?
Jeezus Lefty, what are we gonna call you now?
November 6, 2025 at 4:50 PM
#StopShoutingAndStart picking up your damn fingers before the dog eats them...again!!!
Jeezus Lefty, what are we gonna call you now?
Jeezus Lefty, what are we gonna call you now?
JESUS WEPT! Becky You can not seat #ThePotatoPeople all together. There is a brides side and a grooms side. I did not spend 15 hours and most of my margins planning this wedding only to have it ruined by flying interchangeable parts when both families riot over your "Potato head" Blindness. Racist.
a mr potato head says " you uncultured swine " in a toy story scene
ALT: a mr potato head says " you uncultured swine " in a toy story scene
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
JESUS WEPT! Becky You can not seat #ThePotatoPeople all together. There is a brides side and a grooms side. I did not spend 15 hours and most of my margins planning this wedding only to have it ruined by flying interchangeable parts when both families riot over your "Potato head" Blindness. Racist.
November 5, 2025 at 5:14 PM
#MockACocktail damn it!!! This Gargle Blaster isn't even Bi-Galactic
November 5, 2025 at 5:10 PM
#MockACocktail damn it!!! This Gargle Blaster isn't even Bi-Galactic
#MockACocktail Come on Harvey, our wives talk all the time. You could maybe slap a countertop.
November 5, 2025 at 5:09 PM
#MockACocktail Come on Harvey, our wives talk all the time. You could maybe slap a countertop.
#ifYouCantFindItOnTheInternet
then create it and make it great but don't post it. Show one "Friend". Wait ten minutes, and check the internet again. Call a lawyer.
then create it and make it great but don't post it. Show one "Friend". Wait ten minutes, and check the internet again. Call a lawyer.
October 29, 2025 at 11:06 AM
#ifYouCantFindItOnTheInternet
then create it and make it great but don't post it. Show one "Friend". Wait ten minutes, and check the internet again. Call a lawyer.
then create it and make it great but don't post it. Show one "Friend". Wait ten minutes, and check the internet again. Call a lawyer.
October 26, 2025 at 11:36 AM
The #1 cause of autism is birth.
October 23, 2025 at 11:26 PM
The #1 cause of autism is birth.
Why are the prettiest days also the shittiest days?
October 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Why are the prettiest days also the shittiest days?
#MyWarningLabelShouldSay
Keep away from:
open flames
anything that could make fire
power tools
glass
motor vehicles
humans
Keep away from:
open flames
anything that could make fire
power tools
glass
motor vehicles
humans
October 15, 2025 at 7:40 PM
#MyWarningLabelShouldSay
Keep away from:
open flames
anything that could make fire
power tools
glass
motor vehicles
humans
Keep away from:
open flames
anything that could make fire
power tools
glass
motor vehicles
humans
has anyone thanked Time and the #PumpkinFührer for clearing up the location of the fourth hole.
October 15, 2025 at 5:00 PM
has anyone thanked Time and the #PumpkinFührer for clearing up the location of the fourth hole.
Reposted by Paul Waxman
So this just popped up and
well...yeah...um...yeah yeah Thumper, I'll shut up now.
well...yeah...um...yeah yeah Thumper, I'll shut up now.
October 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
So this just popped up and
well...yeah...um...yeah yeah Thumper, I'll shut up now.
well...yeah...um...yeah yeah Thumper, I'll shut up now.
Reposted by Paul Waxman
This guy is a goddamn patriot.
September 19, 2025 at 2:24 PM
This guy is a goddamn patriot.
So, 10mg is always fun...surely 20mg will be twice as fun...right?
September 18, 2025 at 1:43 AM
So, 10mg is always fun...surely 20mg will be twice as fun...right?
Not me, sobbing watching Tony & Ziva ep: 1
September 6, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Not me, sobbing watching Tony & Ziva ep: 1