The Girl Who Dwells In the Past
@pastdwellings.bsky.social
A digital journal of my healing
All the good, ugly, messy, and everything in-between.
Sometimes wise, oftentimes crying
All the good, ugly, messy, and everything in-between.
Sometimes wise, oftentimes crying
I am afraid that your assumption of me is actually true.
That I am inherently a bad person. That every good deed I do might only be a facade.
That I am inherently a bad person. That every good deed I do might only be a facade.
December 24, 2025 at 8:44 AM
I am afraid that your assumption of me is actually true.
That I am inherently a bad person. That every good deed I do might only be a facade.
That I am inherently a bad person. That every good deed I do might only be a facade.
It has been 6 months since we broke up, I have been living my life normally and I accepted that we can no longer be together.
But if you ask me if I already moved on, I haven't
But if you ask me if I already moved on, I haven't
December 16, 2025 at 4:48 AM
It has been 6 months since we broke up, I have been living my life normally and I accepted that we can no longer be together.
But if you ask me if I already moved on, I haven't
But if you ask me if I already moved on, I haven't
I guess, I'm still grieving.
December 1, 2025 at 1:35 PM
I guess, I'm still grieving.
And even if I go back, there's no one waiting for me.
November 29, 2025 at 2:44 PM
And even if I go back, there's no one waiting for me.
Let's go on a side quest!
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Let's go on a side quest!
I'm gonna start romanticizing my life.
November 26, 2025 at 5:15 AM
I'm gonna start romanticizing my life.
Every now and then, I buy myself flowers for no reason at all. I didn't realize I loved them this much, until someone pointed it out.
One day I'll have my own house with a backyard where I'll grow flowers so I won't have to keep buying them.
One day I'll have my own house with a backyard where I'll grow flowers so I won't have to keep buying them.
November 16, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Every now and then, I buy myself flowers for no reason at all. I didn't realize I loved them this much, until someone pointed it out.
One day I'll have my own house with a backyard where I'll grow flowers so I won't have to keep buying them.
One day I'll have my own house with a backyard where I'll grow flowers so I won't have to keep buying them.
I always wanna run back to you. No matter what kind of day I have. At night I always feel like sending u a message. But I never had the courage to hit send. Because in my mind I see u looking at your phone, sighing, annoyed that a message came from someone u no longer wanna hear from.
November 16, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I always wanna run back to you. No matter what kind of day I have. At night I always feel like sending u a message. But I never had the courage to hit send. Because in my mind I see u looking at your phone, sighing, annoyed that a message came from someone u no longer wanna hear from.
I can no longer describe what it feels, but i still shed tears.
November 12, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I can no longer describe what it feels, but i still shed tears.
I never thought I would be betrayed by those I considered friends.
October 28, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I never thought I would be betrayed by those I considered friends.
Oh no! What have I done?
October 27, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Oh no! What have I done?
Today, I realized that I like flowers.
October 24, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Today, I realized that I like flowers.
Prolly the biggest Gengar I have ever seen.
October 23, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Prolly the biggest Gengar I have ever seen.
Sometimes, I think, I don't really want happiness. I just want the pain, maybe I even love suffering. It's messed up, but it feels familiar, almost comforting in a twisted way.
The truth is, I'm here because I walked myself here. No one did this to me.
The truth is, I'm here because I walked myself here. No one did this to me.
October 20, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Sometimes, I think, I don't really want happiness. I just want the pain, maybe I even love suffering. It's messed up, but it feels familiar, almost comforting in a twisted way.
The truth is, I'm here because I walked myself here. No one did this to me.
The truth is, I'm here because I walked myself here. No one did this to me.
It feels like I'm carrying too much. Love for someone who can't be mine, and I keep trying to hold on and let go, as if I can do both at once.
I'm also trying to love myself, in the middle of this.
I'm also trying to love myself, in the middle of this.
October 19, 2025 at 1:51 PM
It feels like I'm carrying too much. Love for someone who can't be mine, and I keep trying to hold on and let go, as if I can do both at once.
I'm also trying to love myself, in the middle of this.
I'm also trying to love myself, in the middle of this.
Where do I go when everything feels too heavy? My home was someone who loved me. Now there's nowhere safe. I'm just... a lost soul.
October 18, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Where do I go when everything feels too heavy? My home was someone who loved me. Now there's nowhere safe. I'm just... a lost soul.
To you who confessed,
Thank you. I know you gathered all the courage you had just to tell me what you feel. That was the most beautiful confession I've ever received, it's well-written, thoughtful, sweet and full of care. I could feel that every word was a piece of your heart.
Thank you. I know you gathered all the courage you had just to tell me what you feel. That was the most beautiful confession I've ever received, it's well-written, thoughtful, sweet and full of care. I could feel that every word was a piece of your heart.
October 17, 2025 at 9:03 AM
To you who confessed,
Thank you. I know you gathered all the courage you had just to tell me what you feel. That was the most beautiful confession I've ever received, it's well-written, thoughtful, sweet and full of care. I could feel that every word was a piece of your heart.
Thank you. I know you gathered all the courage you had just to tell me what you feel. That was the most beautiful confession I've ever received, it's well-written, thoughtful, sweet and full of care. I could feel that every word was a piece of your heart.
I hate that none of y'all are being honest with me, when I have been completely honest all the fckng time.
October 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I hate that none of y'all are being honest with me, when I have been completely honest all the fckng time.
I need to burn all of my journals if I'm going to leave them behind.
September 2, 2025 at 1:33 PM
I need to burn all of my journals if I'm going to leave them behind.
Why do I keep playing games I'm destined to lose?
September 1, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Why do I keep playing games I'm destined to lose?
Thanks, but no amount of flattery can make me feel confident anymore.
August 30, 2025 at 8:36 AM
Thanks, but no amount of flattery can make me feel confident anymore.
I found my old journal and browsed thru its pages. One page contained a profile of you. It includes everything I know about you. It started with your name on the top of the page, and at the bottom part: your likes and dislikes.
You're always worth remembering. Happy birthday!
You're always worth remembering. Happy birthday!
August 29, 2025 at 2:29 PM
I found my old journal and browsed thru its pages. One page contained a profile of you. It includes everything I know about you. It started with your name on the top of the page, and at the bottom part: your likes and dislikes.
You're always worth remembering. Happy birthday!
You're always worth remembering. Happy birthday!
Choosing myself means:
I have to sit in silence, for hours, or maybe days.
Questioning my own decision.
The deafening silence
An overwhelmed mind
A heavy heart
A body that could not keep up with the loss.
I know these are all necessary to move forward.
But damn it hurts so much tonight.
I have to sit in silence, for hours, or maybe days.
Questioning my own decision.
The deafening silence
An overwhelmed mind
A heavy heart
A body that could not keep up with the loss.
I know these are all necessary to move forward.
But damn it hurts so much tonight.
August 21, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Choosing myself means:
I have to sit in silence, for hours, or maybe days.
Questioning my own decision.
The deafening silence
An overwhelmed mind
A heavy heart
A body that could not keep up with the loss.
I know these are all necessary to move forward.
But damn it hurts so much tonight.
I have to sit in silence, for hours, or maybe days.
Questioning my own decision.
The deafening silence
An overwhelmed mind
A heavy heart
A body that could not keep up with the loss.
I know these are all necessary to move forward.
But damn it hurts so much tonight.
You were my obsession for 3 years, and I was genuinely happy with you around.
Thank you for accompanying me.
You were my best friend, my safe space. I shared everything I had with you.
You were sweet, caring, and kind (at least you used to be).
I cherished every moment I had with you.
Thank you for accompanying me.
You were my best friend, my safe space. I shared everything I had with you.
You were sweet, caring, and kind (at least you used to be).
I cherished every moment I had with you.
August 19, 2025 at 12:33 PM
You were my obsession for 3 years, and I was genuinely happy with you around.
Thank you for accompanying me.
You were my best friend, my safe space. I shared everything I had with you.
You were sweet, caring, and kind (at least you used to be).
I cherished every moment I had with you.
Thank you for accompanying me.
You were my best friend, my safe space. I shared everything I had with you.
You were sweet, caring, and kind (at least you used to be).
I cherished every moment I had with you.
I'm laughing at myself, because I really did turn into a mini version of my ex-boyfriend.
If only you saw me, you might've been proud.
If only you saw me, you might've been proud.
August 17, 2025 at 8:04 AM
I'm laughing at myself, because I really did turn into a mini version of my ex-boyfriend.
If only you saw me, you might've been proud.
If only you saw me, you might've been proud.