parker and the giant peach ❂
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parkerenvy.bsky.social
parker and the giant peach ❂
@parkerenvy.bsky.social
24. any pronouns. international superstar. drag worshipper. squirrels in my pants. made of stardust.
concept: an episode of iCarly where a wacky eccentric ceo invites them to be the first webshow to take place live from the Titanic wreckage via his “high tech” submarine pods, they’re like “omg yeah sure what an honor”
November 14, 2025 at 11:29 PM
waiter: are you enjoying your meal? :)

patron: idk… it kinda tastes like it was made by ai???

waiter: I swear it was made by humans

patron: did an algorithm make this alfredo
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 PM
if I found a cat in a stairwell I would name him Fred Astairewell
November 11, 2025 at 6:02 AM
the gays can still marry (WOOOOOOOOO) but the government might be coming back (sigh)
November 11, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I didn’t know that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have been married since 2006????
May 17, 2025 at 5:49 AM
you can have hopes, dreams, and perfect health, and you still can have it all taken away in an instant just because you get on a commercial airplane. those poor lives that were simply looking to travel, like thousands do every day.
life is so weird. we put people in these big metal birds with tons of regulations and rarely any major problems, but one wrong flight can lead to an explosive collision with all 60-some passengers falling into to the near-freezing Potomac.
January 30, 2025 at 6:08 PM
life is so weird. we put people in these big metal birds with tons of regulations and rarely any major problems, but one wrong flight can lead to an explosive collision with all 60-some passengers falling into to the near-freezing Potomac.
January 30, 2025 at 6:06 PM
times are looking rough but at least SZA’s performing at the superbowl
January 29, 2025 at 6:11 PM
“freedom of speech” party seems to not like certain kinds of free speech. interesting.
January 29, 2025 at 5:41 PM
me every night: UGH do i have to take these vitamins again 🙄 i literally just took them last night smh 🙄🙄🙄
January 29, 2025 at 6:05 AM
try hard by 5sos not being on streaming is Criminal……. like wtf
January 24, 2025 at 4:22 AM
ppl on hinge will say they love to yap but then give one word responses 🙄🙄🙄 why can’t you read the room that YOU built
January 24, 2025 at 3:48 AM
ever since broadway baby got taxidermied nothing has been right
January 24, 2025 at 2:42 AM
weirdest day of my life
January 24, 2025 at 2:40 AM
i get so distracted when i’m watching a teenage drama taking place in america and it shows teens in the hallway of a high school freely wearing hats all day like wtf what universe are we in where that would be allowed??? smh
January 24, 2025 at 2:38 AM
i’m going to repost old tw**ts of mine
January 24, 2025 at 2:36 AM
1985: Clue
1995: Clueless
2005: No Clues At All
2015: So Many Clues
2025: Many Conflicting Clues
January 24, 2025 at 2:36 AM
1985: Clue
1995: Clueless
2005: Blue’s Clues
2015: ???
2025: America Is In Clue Debt
January 24, 2025 at 2:36 AM
i’m about to start adderall and for years i’ve questioned whether i actually need adhd meds but here i am. watching a 13 minute long video on adderall. getting bored/distracted every 3 minutes to seek dopamine elsewhere. yeahhhhh maybe it’s about damn time.
January 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Reposted by parker and the giant peach ❂
"All these new apartment buildings... Yet so many people forced to sleep outside.."
Seen in Bellingham Washington
January 23, 2025 at 2:44 PM
pavloving my way out of using twitter by thinking of egg salad every time i open the app *shudders* and by thinking of soft serve ice cream every time i open bluesky
January 23, 2025 at 4:48 PM
i’m glad my elderly German teacher who watched the Berlin wall both form and crumble didn’t have to live to see this shit.
January 23, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“and here’s an Avril Lavigne song for my fellow fiber-lackers: ‘Why You Gotta Go And Make Things So Constipated’”
January 23, 2025 at 4:41 PM
how are they going to tell children to say “with liberty and justice for all” in schools when that statement doesn’t apply 🤔
January 23, 2025 at 4:32 PM
i’ve never seen a Star Wars film but “Resistance” sounds interesting
January 23, 2025 at 4:32 PM