secret lila
banner
papayaflowers.bsky.social
secret lila
@papayaflowers.bsky.social
Lila • 29 • I swear here
me pretending to be happy and smile at the cashier while spending $70 for all my med refills including this new antidepressant I doubt is gonna work
December 11, 2025 at 7:26 AM
desperately telling myself to please, please just make it to March
December 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
i really think i'm fooling myself and i don't know what to do about it
December 5, 2025 at 8:00 AM
yeah probably time to see trauma therapy again
December 2, 2025 at 7:18 PM
need to go home and play my stupid MMO so I can stop thinking about shooting myself in the head lol
November 28, 2025 at 5:13 AM
can life stop dangling happiness on me and then immediately pulling it out of reach????
November 26, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I almost didn't go to Vegas.. I was so tired and stressed from moving I almost just canceled. but I'm so glad I did. my life has been changed from last weekend in a wonderful way...
November 25, 2025 at 9:22 AM
sorry idk why I'm minorly suicidal again but I'm safe at least
November 24, 2025 at 9:29 AM
realized i'm broken, forever. it's never going to be better than it is now.
November 23, 2025 at 9:10 PM
And I hope your absence makes us grow fonder
I hope we always feel the same
When our eyes meet past security
We embrace in the baggage claim
When we kiss in the baggage claim
November 23, 2025 at 7:00 AM
got home immediately started ugly crying
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
the loneliness is back after i was free from it for a little bit and i hate it so much
November 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
haha
November 22, 2025 at 6:43 AM
I think I'm not good enough
November 22, 2025 at 3:12 AM
omg hi again intense self doubt and hatred ^___^
November 21, 2025 at 9:54 PM
need like. an "i'm missing soot again" thread
November 20, 2025 at 10:45 AM
back to feeling like I have to force myself to eat food
November 20, 2025 at 9:16 AM
may have had to weep a little in the bathroom bc I am starting to really, really miss him
November 20, 2025 at 3:42 AM
thinking about the final airport hug and kiss from yesterday and getting weirdly emotional
November 18, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Reposted by secret lila
November 15, 2025 at 10:56 PM
the post work sickness is starting yay ^__^
November 18, 2025 at 7:26 PM
god I feel like I want to just die
November 16, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I'm so fucking useless
November 15, 2025 at 8:14 PM
physical disabilities suck!!! I'm in so much pain from just working. I'm scared I can't work at regionals well now because it hurts so much to just do this all day. I'm trying to force myself to eat but I'm in so much pain that's awful too and I feel sick
November 15, 2025 at 7:35 PM
my heart is racing thinking about getting there in the morning 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
November 14, 2025 at 1:53 AM