Butt teeth! Butt teeth! Butt teeth!
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panic.gay
Butt teeth! Butt teeth! Butt teeth!
@panic.gay
Irl: Edutainment & sketch comedy. Here: Shitposts. 18+

There's a species of fish that lives in the buttholes of sea cucumbers. Sea cucumber buttholes developed teeth to keep them out. It didnt work.
Someone call the louvre boys. I have another heist job for them.
November 13, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Visiting the Onion's temporary HQ (they're renovating the main space! They're doing so well they have renovation money!!) has given me new interior design goals.
November 11, 2025 at 7:42 PM
60s advertisements hit different
November 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Imagine rolling up to the party in Jeep with Legs
November 10, 2025 at 9:05 PM
What an incredible day.

Second day of workshops with Kevin McDonald and then a panel and happy hour atbh The Onion!
November 9, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Really enjoyed my workshop with the legendary Kevin McDonald.
November 7, 2025 at 10:45 PM
The notebook I'm using for my sketch workshop today also has my notes from the Monsterotica Romantasy Biology Class dragoncon panel in it, and last night I hung out with @dianeakelly.bsky.social nerding out about echidna genitals.

Poor sweet Kevin McDonald might be in for some real weird sketches 😂
November 7, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Nothing like pre show stress hives
November 7, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I have never flown jet blue before but the screensaver for the seatback TVs is just a video of puppies being puppies so naturally I am now a die hard fan
November 6, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Perhaps I will have to swing by the shedd and say hi to some gar!!

I am proud of teaching my partner about how cool gar are to the point where he was pointing them out to me at Ga Aquarium when we went!
November 6, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Chicago!! My team is performing tomorrow night at Chicago sketchfest, and then I'm doing some workshops with Kevin McDonald and going to an event The Onion is hosting for former Diverse As Fuck workshop attendees!
November 6, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Quick someone make billionaires believe the best way to prove your manliness is not to visit the Titanic, but rather to see whale secrets.
November 6, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I spend all my money on stupid shit so the only Lego I currently own is the business card of a friend who used to work there (their card is a mini fig of them!!)

But I am very much pro bucket-o-legos. As a child I rarely did sets. I just built stuff.
November 6, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I usually answer wobbegong to this, but given that I own 7 pieces of whale shark themed clothing, I should probably update that answer.

Thresher sharks and dwarf lantern sharks are also up there.

The most mid shark is the sandbar shark, obviously.
November 6, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Given how often the force close proximity to their buttholes upon us and how untrustworthy their normal teeth are, I would say the common housecat.
November 6, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I'm just starting to get into fancy cheese (thanks to the Cheesemonster talk at nerd nite DC!) so ask me this again in a year and I'll probably have a way cooler answer

But for now, probably either a gorgonzola or a good brie.
November 6, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Please don't feed your cats spam everyday it may lead to them joining a British sketch comedy troupe and writing silly comedy songs about it
November 6, 2025 at 12:31 AM
I appreciate how many brilliant scientific minds follow me on here.

I believe that if wombats had plastic surgery they would probably have all sorts of designer poop shapes.
November 6, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I miss y'all, too! I haven't had much spare social energy for internet shenanigans or even IRL friendships lately (and also I spend most of my free energy on my delightful partner).

I'm trying to find a more sustainable lifestyle so I have space to reconnect.
November 6, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Alas, I only have mollusks and crustaceans
November 6, 2025 at 12:22 AM
There are plenty of sex workers on here who will play games to please your boner
November 6, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I feel like I'd go with a Bahm Mi, but I will leave this question to the absolute best expert to ask: @swordsjew.bsky.social
November 6, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I aim to be the most fuckable squishallow
November 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I aim to be the most fuckable squishallow
November 6, 2025 at 12:15 AM
🥰
November 6, 2025 at 12:11 AM