Pedestrians attacked by Parasaurolophus in Salt Lake City, Utah. Victims claim they “just wanted a photo.”

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Hiker attacked in Finke Gorge National Park in Australia. Witnesses report that a Carnotaurus suddenly emerged from the canyon and dragged the man into the sand. The man survived the initial attack but later succumbed to his injuries awaiting medical assistance at Areyonga airport.

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Possible Pyroraptor sighted near Salerno Italy, DPW has been dispatched as locals panic.

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Possible Velociraptor sighting near Sydney, Australia. Locals are warned to be extremely cautious and are advised to avoid an encounter at all costs. DPW agents have been dispatched.

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Following an incident in Tampa, Florida earlier today, we would like to reiterate: Please do not feed the compies.

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2 dead and 3 injured after Stegosaurus encounter in Aberdeen, South Dakota. Family seeks damages from Masrani Global, who waived responsibility for the dinosaurs in 2018.

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PLEASE DO NOT SMACK A SLEEPING TRICERATOPS WITH A GOLF CLUB!!!

Hole 7 of Craft Farms Golf club’s “Cypress Bend” in Gulf Shores, Alabama has been temporarily closed due to a Triceratops sleeping on the green. Players are advised to repeat the previous hole until the animal moves on.

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Chaos erupts in South-Eastern Africa as several Majungasaurus have been spotted hunting Wildebeest at Gonarezhou National Park in Zimbabwe.

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Rampant dinosaur trading ring busted in Florida Keys. DFW confiscates over 120 prehistoric animals.

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DFW agents raid an illegal dinosaur breeding facility in Sheridan, Arkansas. Witnesses report that several species of carnivore have escaped and residents have been advised to stay indoors and avoid an encounter if possible.

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Police respond to an emergency call from a farmer in Anderson County, Texas after an alleged Teratophoneus attack. No fatalities reported.

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Unidentified Pterosaur sighting reported in Madison, Wisconsin. Locals are advised to keep a close eye on children and pets until the threat has passed. Local police have been dispatched.

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Baryonyx pair spotted within the River Wear headed east towards Fosterley. Locals have been warned to stay off popular trail routes while authorities deal with the potential threats.

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Allosaurus spotted on I-95 heading north towards Pennsylvania. Civilians are advised to stay in their cars and avoid close contact if possible. DPW agents have been alerted and the Military has been deployed to deal with possible threats.

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Rangers for Plumas National Forest have issued a warning to hikers urging them to avoid Lake Antelope, as a Brachiosaurus nest has been uncovered nearby. DFW officials advise locals to avoid the area until the eggs and their mothers can be relocated.

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Ankylosaurus herd has been spotted migrating south between the Oregon-California border near Modoc County. Residents are ordered to stay indoors until the herd passes so as to not disturb the animals. DFW agents have been dispatched to deal with any potential threats.

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