Im not even a big horse fan funny enough. I know how to ride horses (though I cant saddle them), but when I look at a horse, I have no damn clue what its thinking or feeling.
Its just horse.

I like feeding them carrots and grass tho. I hope they like it too? I mean they eat it so... ?

I dont usually feed the birds by the way. But when its this hot, I think its better for their survival if they put their energy in to staying cool instead of looking for food.

So I leave it out as a treat during heatwaves to help them survive.

Plot twist, its a dog.

Also i want to leave behind something funny in my place, so that theorists spend years trying to figure out what the fuck it means.

Like i disappear and where I once stood is a mlp figure of some random horse.

If this happened though Id probably show up in the next world looking like that Spngebob caveman meme.

But honestly, I do have a reason now...

I promised someone that I would help them by getting a good "ending" to a certain game.

And that Id try to live too, despite... everything.

Im unsure I can do it, but Im trying!

Currently my purpose is to eat the marshmallows I have in the cupboard and get really sick because Im lactose intolerant and the laztose tablets dont work 100%

lol

I think something else thats helped me personally is people used to say "what do you live for?"

It used to bother me, because I didnt really have a reason.

Then I realized, I dont have to have a reason!

I live because I can. Because I choose to. And if I need a purpose, I just make one up!

My surgery scars are healing, though the one on my stomach is being stubborn and isnt closing up properly. I may end up with a second belly button that looks like a smile. (No thanks.)

The blisters from the purple dye are still there. I hope they clear up soon. Stings.

Anyway, I bought a Tomba plush. Tomba is one of my fave games of all time! Well the 2nd one, the first I get lost in a lot and rarely completed it. (Its still good though!)

But yeah, a nice thing despite getting older.

Was still taking paracetamol and the occasional opioid by mouth though, so not THAT tough, but, kinda funny still.

I stopped taking painkillers on day 3 though. Honestly they um, constipate me, so pain is easier than... that.

As long as I get sleep, Im usually fine. Being tired is the worst.

Its darkly funny that I often put up with pain because Ive become so used to it being my base experience thanks to chronic illness.

Like i stopped taking the extra strong painkiller solution an hour after waking up from surgery because I was too lazy to press the painkiller button they gave me.

It does seem a lot of brands have replaced a lot of ingredients with oil to make the product cheaper. I ate some mint biscuits and it was like 90% oil. It was gross.

I think Ill be making some things from scratch if I can when Im feeling better. Hope I can find some decent chocolate somewhere.