Honestly, it never occurred to me that there WAS any other reasonable interpretation than the so-called "new" one. (And the splash damage "trick"... isn't-- it's *explicitly* ruled out in the GM Core Clarifications)

Actually Splash is specifically called out in the GM Core Clarifications as *not* doubling up:

“But soft! What light through yonder viewscreen breaks? It is the weapons port and Juliet is the Aurora-class particle cannon! Dids’t I love till now? Forswear it, optics; for I ne’er saw true beauty till in yon cockpit!”
“Romeo & Juliet”, Daimalkan edition
#Starfinder #Shakespeare

They sent you some sexy pic(k)s.

Yeah. Her attacks have E Infusion so your stats get altered over the course of the battle, forcing you to adjust on the fly accordingly. And if you try to play it safe, you’ll get wrecked by Hey, Check This Out!, which gets stronger with each use and is an auto-loss when the clock hits twelve.

Fashion Nugget was one of the first CDs I owned.
Pouring one out.

Holidays like ARbor Day?

I know a guy who knows a guy. Leave a bunch of bananas outside your door tomorrow. (And have about five or six more waiting inside).

Runners-up:
Legendarily Unkillable Rogue
Unjustly Vilified Pirate
Unintentional Self-Insert
Grogu, With Mando (Duty Phantom Eidolon)

Awakened Velociraptor Investigator

"Research!"
GM: "The head librarian glares at you sternly"