There's so much in this world that brings me joy but I don't feel like I live a life where I get to enjoy those things. I've spent well over a decade thinking about 'someday' and how happy I will eventually be but how many years have to pass without that someday arriving before I burst?

matter.But I don't have anyone or anywhere to go to, and even if I did, who's to say I would actually be able to get on my feet. If I became dead weight for somebody else I don't think I could take it. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to live anymore.

The healthcare fiasco has been one of the worst situations I've found myself in because it felt like my last lifeline. I just wish I could leave forever. I keep thinking if I could just move away somewhere else I'd be relieved being in a place where I don't know anyone so what they think of me won't

I asked my mother about institutionalizing me but I don't think she wants to do that and I don't even know if I want that but I do want support and I know she can't really give that to me

i spent a lot of time thinking about how i wish I could have given him whats left of my life which honestly i feel kinda idk cringe thinking about it like that but I really do feel like I waste my existence feeling trapped like this. I'm at a point where I'm anxious going out for day to day things

i made an attempt on my life a few months ago and I have honestly been teetering back and forth about wanting to do it again. It was I think only a few days before my mom told me that my uncle passed away from complications of leukemia

(I'm lazy this will never come to fruition)

hey bro

good morning bih

mind melded

haunted by that sly chewy mf