it's his heart ripped from his chest, and all he can do is try to breathe around the jagged absence

listen. listen. Xie Lian knows pain. he can handle pain, and death, and even live with disappointment because that's just his life, isn't it? and he thought he could live with this too, the grief, the waiting, but this isn't a physical pain he can push through.

I used to live near an ice cream van depot, and they all played greensleeves... except for the one that played the Match of the Day theme