ooh that's a good idea!! i think i'll do that, i'll probably also tag everything just so i don't jumpscare people with some of this stuff hdfjgfkh but ty for the idea!!

to not see those posts if they don't want to. i know abt the secret feature so maybe i'd just use that. partly bc i don't like having to switch accounts lmao here or on vent it's always been a pain. so. maybe i'll do that. and honestly i do like the idea of having options on how private my posts are

tho i'm also not sure whether or not to go down the same route as i did on vent with a separate acc for nsfw stuff because on one hand i hate censoring myself or like. separating off that stuff from my main, vaguely more palatable main hjfghdkfg on the other hand i'd like people to have the option

told someone about the job situation but i need to tell the owner and also the admin gc and ik it'll be fine but i do still feel bad about only being here for a single shift. if i can still help out with saturdays i will. just not weekdays anymore

also a small win before i pass the fuck out: tonight was my first time ever loudly cheering at an event. maybe bc it was so fucking loud in there already but like. god damn. first time ever working up the courage to do that, let alone multiple times. thank god for drag shows huh

i've never been sadder to get home in my life. good lord. my ears are still ringing and my head hurts and i'm so so tired and god i'm so happy rn. that was kind of everything tbh. i'm gonna help out with their next show even if it kills me

my mum said the taxi price is also pretty good for a sat night so i'm going that route. thank god. i think it'll be tiring, but i'm looking forward to it. i do need to take today easy in advance though or else this headache is gonna fuck me over so bad later

and yeah i'm gonna have to immediately back out of helping with admin stuff which feels so fucking bad like honestly if i can pick up any extra days this week to make up for it i'm happy to. i SAID this was gonna happen tho. i'd start volunteering only to immediately get offered a job. jesus christ

tho i am kind of terrified bc it's a sold out show and i have absolutely zero experience with this so it'll probably be really overwhelming and i'm not feeling super awesome at the moment so it'd really suck if i cried or smth lmao. but. i'd like to help out at least once before work takes over

something else in my life is still a ticking time bomb rn and jesus christ there's not going to be a good time for it but. like i don't know how i'm gonna cope with all this at once. there's way too much to do and think about and my head hurts and i just need a break today i think

to that so bad. also my teeth still haven't sorted themselves out so i might need more work done and how the fuck am i gonna fit that around a 7-7 schedule. like can i even be booking time off this early on. idk what the fuck to do about any of this. why'd everything have to be happening all at once

journeys so for now it'll be podcasts and a small snack at best. idk. i've got that week to figure it out. but also gotta say i'm stressed as fuck now bc a) docs appt on the 20th which is the week after the work trial but am i gonna have to miss that now.. idk what's happening w that. i need to go

evenings. maybe weekdays i'm only there for an hour or two, sundays i can do longer, and i could do saturdays during the day. like whatever it fucking takes lmao it's gonna be like uni all over again.. if i could make better use of commute time that'd be nice but sadly i don't do well on long

1. that's going to fucking exhaust me and 2. less time for games with my friends. if i'm leaving early and getting home late, i'll have so little free time on weekdays that i'll barely have time for stuff at all. and i really can't lose this. like it can change, sure, but i can't be skipping entire

i'm not sure what to make of it. i felt really good about the interview though, like i did with the last job i had, like my gut feeling about interviews is always bang on dhfgjkdhf so the commute is still over 3 hours a day, i'd probably be out 7 til 7. the thought terrifies me for two main reasons

in the interview we had a chat about the commuting issue, possibility of wfh days, like they genuinely seemed to want to put in the effort to help me with that if it means me wanting the job? i don't know if it's desperation or generosity from them. they're not an overly young/new business so

and if all goes well they'll offer me a permanent contract. so. if you take a look at that thread from the other day where i was freaking out over the possibility that this would happen dhfghdk and i said yes, i'll do the initial week, of course i will, i need to see how this would actually go