there are so much more of us than we think. the numbers held steady across all 50 states, and all ethnicities.

more trans kids feel safer to come out than ever before.

we cannot and we will not fucking concede on having their chance at a happy, fulfilling future taken from them.

it's that simple.

Happy birthday! 💜

What you are describing is systemic ableism. You modified your behavior to match that of your oppressors and expect other autists to do the same. This is harmful to the entire autistic community. Your anecdotal experiences have nothing to do with what I’m talking about: systemic oppression.

Okay I was giving you the benefit of the doubt but you are clearly operating in bad faith so I’m gonna stop responding now.

Autistic people grow up in an allistic world and internalize the ableism. The discomfort isn’t genuine it’s manufactured. I also take great offense at the conflation of an autistic trait as an antisocial trait. “Who decides? Scientific consensus (ideally with the participation of academic autists).

Again it’s a matter of societal misunderstanding of autistic communication styles, not an individual misunderstanding an individual. It’s also not making people “unhappy” it’s making them uncomfortable and there is a difference. The discomfort is self inflicted due to societal ableism.

This is not an individualist problem it’s a societal one.This isn’t a fair framing of the issue as I’m putting it forth.

My point is that the intent already matches the need, it’s just being misunderstood. Framing it as a “basic” need is ceding the ground that allistic communication styles are “correct” and that’s not only not true, it’s actively harmful.

Ultimately this is just a model minority argument. Modify your behavior to be like that of your oppressor and perhaps they will stop oppressing you. We know this doesn’t work. It’s the responsibility of the person with power to learn tolerance and acceptance, not the other way around.

My goal is not to sympathize, it’s to build common ground for understanding. I’m perfectly willing to work on my communication skills, but only if we are to meet in the middle. I’m not going to change who I am to make allistic people more comfortable with my presence.

You are just proving my point though. My intent is never to make any conversation about myself, it’s only perceived that way. I am sharing specifically because of my interest in the other person, wanting to connect, and learn more about them. Perception can be altered through education of intent.

The reason I take issue with this advice is that it continues to put the onus of change on autistic people instead of just educating allistic people about how we communicate.

For context: Howard W. Campbell, Jr. is a fictional character who appears throughout Vonnegut’s body of work. Campbell was a playwright, Nazi propagandist, and American spy.