I dont know what to do. I just feel so lost and alone. I deactivated my main Instagram for a few days but ill reactivate soon cause its my last day here tomorrow. Im sorry for disappearing but i just needed some time to myself. Im sorry for worrying anyone.

19/

Lives. Im not special or having anything to offer. I just wish I could disappear from existence and stop being crushed by everyone's expectations, because I know that no matter what I do, its never enough. My mind has just been playing this stuff on repeat and I just want to run away.

18/

A better choice as a partner. I offer nothing but trouble. Ive also been so afraid to show affection or spam texting cause I feel like im so pushy like who tf am I to decide im a fit for someone? People are just better off without me, if they even know I exist lol. Im just taking time out their

17/

What others think of me. It feels like im constantly being watched and compared to my peers. And fuck its so bad with dating dont even get me started. Any time I become remotely close to being in a relationship with someone I self-sabatoge and think theres a fucking MILLION people who would be

16/

People I regularly hang out with but it feels like theyre just babysitting me cause im the one with this or that. Any new people I meet I have to hide that I constantly have to run to the bathroom or that im deaf because I think they'll think less of me for it. Really, im afraid. Im afraid of

15/

These problems before so they dont understand how much it fucking sucks that I literally cant do anything without accommodations. All of this stuff has just been making my loneliness worse and Holy shit its bad. I feel so stupid for feeling this way too because I have people I can talk to and

14/

life. There are just so many fucking things in my life that make it 10 times harder to simply LIVE and its so demoralizing. I wish I could eat a single meal, I wish I could go outside without constantly worrying, and I wish I could feel like a normal person. No one in my life has had any of

13/

I also use it for my anxiety which has actually been improving but god sometimes my symptoms will be so strong I need it, and sometimes I dont get a chance to so I feel like im constantly fighting for my life. I have specific anxiety symptoms I wont get into but they affect my ENTIRE day to day

12/

weed to give myself an appetite but every time I do it just feels like an excuse to get high even tho its literally impossible to finish a meal without it. It also doesn't help smoking weed is like demonized by the people I live with and if I get caught at ALL I will be homeless full stop.

11/

I developed an eating disorder at some point in the last year and basically any time I even look at food or try to eat it ill gag and instantly feel sick, and push the plate away. Ill fucking starve myself for hours because im physically incapable of eating. The only solution has been smoking

10/

see myself in the mirror and look at the stubble on my face the constant body hair, and even just my hands. I wish I didnt have to deal with these things on a daily basis, and if I dont they starting coming back and I feel horrible. Ive been losing weight despite being awfully underweight.

9/

ugly inside, and lately outside too. It feels like ive been regressing as a transwoman back to just nonbinary because I feel like I cant even live up to that. I havent start hormones at all and I probably still wont for a very long time and it makes me insanely depressed. Am I even a woman? I

8/

Or interesting in any way. Everyone in my life is leagues ahead of me and it feels im constantly falling behind and disappointing. Im tired of feeling. I wish my brain would just shut off and I didnt have to feeling anything anymore. Even as im writing this i just feel so stupid. I just feel so

7/

after pushing it down. Now I literally cant do or anything without that moment replaying in my mind. Literally anything I do, say, or think is just stupid and useless. Every word out of my mouth is instantly met with the thought "why did I say that" or "thats stupid who tf cares." Im not special

6/

Im sad, lonely, frustrated. I dont wanna go into details but essentially I was told to my face that ive been a disappointment by my family. And I dont think ive even begun to process the effect that that had on me. It seriously fucking damaged my mental health and im only now feeling the effect

5/

ill go nonverbal and the response im met with is "why are you mad???" and then ill storm off. Its never "oh are you okay?" Its always ME and my feelings that are the problem. So instead I just bottle it all up and present as the silly goofy person like always, and thats not me, its a lie. Really

4/

constantly replaying in my head nonstop and its becoming unbearable. it sucks because I cant even express any of these feelings to anyone cause I just come off ass pissy and annoying, therefore making me more frustrated. I hate that I live in a space where I have to bottle up all my shit cause

3/

Lately ive just been feeling exceptionally alone its been getting worse. I literally cant even leave myself alone for a moment to think or else my mind will start attacking and shitting on everything I do. Im not confident, im not funny, im annoying. All of these thoughts have just been

2/

I said asmongold should be offed